Yesterday after telling my husband I was going to the hospital, he didn't text back until 4 hours…

um I'd be furious if my husband didn't answer.

@showersoverflowers, I would be pretty pissed..he could at least show some concern & ask how you are. 😯😕

I would be livid. 😡 I would tell him at least that you're upset he took so long to reply and that you don't feel that he's concerned for you and baby. He won't know if you don't tell him and he can't change his behavior if he doesn't know he needs to.

@mommabear3cubs, @momma2bee I'm not even mad. I'm just sad. I have done pregnancy alone as a single mom and I really thought it was going to be a different experience this go around with someone I love but I was wrong. I know there's nothing he can do being so far away and that's probably why he doesn't ask (he's logic driven) but I guess just to know I'm not really alone would feel so much better than going through this sad

@evococa, unfortunately I have had this talk with him. every drill weekend, I don't hear from him at all. It doesn't help to talk to him about it. He doesn't actually listen and take it to heart. He listens but it's in one ear and out the other. I'm not really sure how to let him know how hurt I am

Is he able to get to his phone quickly while at drill? I don't much about military procedures, sadly. But as for letting him know how hurt you are, you just have to sit him down and talk it out. The less emotional you get, the better-at least in my experience. My hubby never takes me serious when I'm really worked up because he just figures it's pregnancy hormones or whatever.

while he is at drill he's probably not allowed to have his phone. but with that being said he should confront a SGT about you being pregnant and that he always needs to have his phone. my husband was active duty Army while I was pregnant and before pregnancy my husband wasn't allowed to use his.phone at work. but when I got.pregnant they allowed him to always have his phone on in case of emergency's.

@evococa, he's on his phone 24-7 at drill. Yesterday, however, he wasn't even at drill. I'm away from home for 3 weeks. He was just hanging out with his siblings. we have had this talk with our pastor even. I am not really emotional person. He has only seen me break down 3 times in our entire relationship despite pregnancy loss, cancers, betrayals, etc One time was me completely breaking down because I had finally hit a point where I was so hurt by him ignoring me and not taking me serious that I had nothing left to do or say. He stepped it up for a couple weeks after that but it's a loss again. He's such an amazing person...always giving himself to others but there's nothing left for me after its all said and done.

@nichole_lynn, we are fortunate in that it's pretty lax in his unit as far as this goes. of course, there are certain things that would take him away from the phone but he is the SGT.

Hmm, well that's definitely a difficult thing to navigate. Maybe you guys would benefit from couples counseling. Even just mentioning it might be enough to make him realize how serious you are about your needs? I know we certainly benefited from it. And if he won't go, you can go yourself to learn tools and ways to express yourself to him too. ❤️

That's a really good idea. Just for myself to go. Maybe I can learn to be more assertive without coming across as smothering

@evococa

I found it super helpful when I went (: if you go, I'm sure you will too. Or at least I hope so. The main thing is finding a counselor you like 😊

I talked with him and he said exactly what I was thinking... "I feel helpless because I can't do anything" I told him love doesn't follow the rules of logic and he needs to understand that. I need to feel his pretense even when we are apart.. @evococa

Good for you! Guys tend to not know what to do when they can't fix it, it seems. He's just got to realize you don't need him to fix it, you just need some support. Hopefully with you telling him that he can do that for you. I constantly have to tell my hubby that NO, I don't want you to tell me how to fix it, I'm complaining and just need you to listen and validate me.