People say hindsight is 20/20 and I agree. When I look back on those early years when I had small…

People say hindsight is 20/20 and I agree. When I look back on those early years when I had small babies I think of so many things I would have done differently. Thoughts of everything from which bottles to use, diapers, baby food, and even breastfeeding come to mind. There is definitely no manual on how to be the perfect mom, but in retrospect, I see my early parenting days as fraught with things I would change.👶🏻

Rest…Rest…Rest…😴

One thing I certainly was always deprived of was sleep. Even when I had the opportunity to sleep, I didn’t. I used those periods of time when the baby was sleeping to mop the floor or clean the bathroom. I rarely rested. Now I wish I had. I realize now that a clean floor is no match against a fresh well-rested mom. I also realize that with rest comes more patience and tolerance, and yes, clearer thoughts. During those early years, I was so consumed with maintaining the life I had, that I failed to adequately recognize the needs of my current new life.

Learning to Trust Your Instincts🌞

As a new mom, I was filled with so much doubt. My common sense went out the window as I fretted over every minor and major detail about this major life changing experience. I was so mechanical and by the book. I see now that instincts are gifts that have anonymous givers. You may not know how you know something, but you know somehow that this anonymous bit of information that you’ve been internally gifted with feels right.

No one is Perfect😊

The push to be the perfect mother can be strong. It affects every mother regardless of the individual circumstances unique to each mother. Even a woman who has become a mother as a result of a newborn adoption still struggles with what to do for her bundle of joy. I now realize that much of what you learn is by trial and error and that we are all trying our best. The most we can do when we stumble as new mothers is pick ourselves up and start again, perhaps with a different approach.

It’s Not a Painting🎨

I have learned that not everything has to be approached as if it’s a Picasso. Sometimes doing the bare minimum is enough and any more than the bare minimum is a waste of time. Not everything requires an artisan’s touch. Sometimes it’s enough to vacuum the carpet twice a week because rest and time spent with the family are more important. As a recovering germaphobe, my interest in the perfect carpet cleaner for clean environment has waned, even though I know I will be able to resume my prior level of cleaning at a later date. I instead have traded my days of cleaning things from top to bottom for getting things clean enough. I realize now that time spent with the baby and family are more important.

Take Time for Yourself🙌🏻

I gave all my time attention and focus to the baby all the time. I didn’t take the time to sit down and eat a good meal daily or get a hot shower. I justified my negligence by telling myself that I had to make sacrifices for the baby and there would be time to focus on myself later. I realize now that it’s not hard to lose the connection you have with yourself and your inner voice. More importantly, it’s that authentic inner voice that makes us the best versions of ourselves. Neglecting our own needs eats away at our confidence, happiness, and well-being. To take care of others, you must take care of yourself as well.

As a young mother many things were overwhelming, however, I realized that there were only a few things that made a significant difference in my quality of life. There were areas of my life that became illuminated as I grew in wisdom. Time for self, trusting your instincts, getting rest, and not dwelling on how things get done and perfectionism are all areas that I would change if I had to do young motherhood all over again.

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