Either I'm getting depressed or just in my feelings but I wish people stop saying everything is my fault. Colic, yellow jaundice, constipation, thrush and what ever else is going on. I didn't cause it upon my baby. I stopped nursing him but doesn't seems to be good enough. I was in love with breastfeeding my baby. It was our bonding time. But I was made to feel like shit about it. Then his yellow jaundice levels kept going up the more I nursed. Now it's I'm lazy, I don't do this I don't do that, I gave him colic. I did this I did that. I can't win for losing. I felt like running away today. Didn't know where me and my baby was going but we were going to be going.
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Trigger. Lost baby
Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
I can't take it anymore! Haley (yes my 1mth old and no I wasn't able to go through this "joy" of nursing my older daughter, Molly) has been screaming non stop for 6hrs! All she wants to do is eat and I can't have her attached to me all day, everyday! She has wanted to eat every hr on the hr for the past 3hrs! I put her in her room so I don't scream at her but I just can't take it!
My boyfriend is against breastfeeding in public even if I have cover. I told him I wanted to do skin to skin after the babys born and he said no because he didn't want me naked in front of anyone. I said he'd be under my gown. and he said no because my boob can pop out. he also said I'm not allowed to feed my baby if there's a nurse in the room. and I told him they're gonna see my freaking vagina!! who cares about my boobs. it's also not their first time. I'm so annoyed. because if my baby is hu...
I'm so ready to go home I want to cry. don't tell me what to call my son! stop treating him like a fucking baby doll! and stop acting like I'm a fucking surrogate like I didn't birth and carry my baby.