I feel like in the last 8 years I've been through so much maybe it being most of my choices weren't the best but I've learned a lot.... Being with someone who cheated on me constantly then to being with someone who let me go through 4 miscarriages and now two pregnancy alone and raising two kids by myself while he started a whole new family... I feel like I've become numb to my feelings like I feel like I'm starting to have no heart except where it comes to my children. I've been so strong over the years that I have a hard time taking or asking for help. When my second child is born i am going to be having my tubes tied but now I'm starting to have mixed emotions about it... Like what happens if I meet the man of my dreams and he wants kids. But my other feeling is that I really don't want anymore children