В ожидании первенца

sorry in advance this may have nothing to do with pregnancy.... but i just need to vent

I am beyond blessed to have a wonderful supportive family nd so who care about me... but there's days where I just feel lonely, like no one understands me... A couple years ago I lost my big brother, we had a unbreakable bond.. we lost a couple years together due to him being in jail but every weekend i visited him for 4 hours, those 4hours would seem like forever then when he got out july4th 2012, we tried to spend as much quality time again until his life was taken on October 5th 2012. I swear I lost it. and wished I could have those 4 hour visits again to cherish each last word he said.. To this day I feel like I never fully recovered.. but he left my family an angel, my nephew who looks identical like him. I hate that he will never get to meet his daddy && now that I'm pregnant with his niece she will never get to meet him either. all these years I keep asking myself how did I come so far. how did I find the strength to wake up everyday nd face this cruel world?

I get into my feelings sometimes nd I feel like I have no one. I just can't wait until I have my daughter so I will have my best friend, someone to hug nd hold nd know I won't get judged for crying .. 😟😢