A Facebook post shared by a mom I follow!

A Facebook post shared by a mom I follow!

Doing the right thing can be such a scary thing - especially when you're 8.

Olivia had friends over today, 3 to be exact. Older girls, only by a couple of years but those years make a difference. These girls were bold, confident, experienced in games to play and dances to make up - also lovely and very well mannered. Olivia was happy just to be included. I watched - mostly from a far, as my oldest baby tried to navigate this new experience - wanting to be with the older kids, cool even, but still trying to incorporate her younger brother. She doesn't really know life with out him. They however, do.

When they teased him and excluded him from their girly games, she struggled to find her voice. I wanted to find it for her but I couldn't. You see, going against what's popular, even when we know it's right, is an initiative that scares many of us well into adult hood. For Olivia to have any legs over her own, she's got to have them swept out from under her a few times.

The next couple of hours, they stayed busy running in and out. Olivia did her best to keep up.

Olivia came into the kitchen around 5:00 and asked me for yet another snack. This time my answer was no. The girls would be leaving shortly and I was making dinner. Defeated, she mumbled a "yes ma'am" before sulking back to the crowd, the bearer of bad news. I heard the bedroom door close then grunts of disappointment as she let them down.

I walked outside to talk to Michael and when I came back in, I noticed the pantry door open. I walked to the bedroom door and listened - Taylor Swift lyrics filling the space. I opened the door - all the kids, including mine, were munching away on bags of chips while dancing in circles. Olivia stopped when her eyes met mine. Her face dropped as she desperately tried to think of a way to defuse the situation. I asked her to step into the hallway. "Didn't i tell you no more snacks?" She nodded. Her eyes filling with tears. "But you did it anyway?" The tears spilling over, running down her cheeks. Why, I asked? "Because they wanted me to and".. her voice cracked. She threw her arms around me and cried into my stomach. My baby girl trying so hard to be big, trying to figure out how to do the right thing when the wrong thing doesn't seem like such a big deal... The girls went home, and she sat at the bar eating her quesadilla. It was time for a bigger conversation.

I spoke to her about choices and that doing what is right doesn't mean doing what is easy. I explained that from this very moment until the day she dies, she will have to make choices and that sometimes outside influences will work against her doing what she knows and feels is right - I explained that sometimes those voices would come from people she liked, sometimes even from people she loved - but that if something doesn't feel right, no matter who urges you to do it, it is still your choice to do it or not - and to remember that our choices have consequences, and we alone are responsible for them. I encouraged her to find her voice in life and use it. Sure, it may not make you "popular" but the right people will always stay and the ones that don't should probably go anyway.

We spoke about what other mothers allow and what this one doesn't. I reminded her that I am the mother that she got, for better or worse and whether she liked it or not... She licked the sour cream off her finger and said, "I like it... most of the time." I smiled. Most of the time is fine by me. XO