even though I don't want anymore kids... it still makes me really sad knowing I'll never experience…

even though I don't want anymore kids... it still makes me really sad knowing I'll never experience the ups and downs of pregnancey and delivery again... I'll never have a little 6lb 10oz baby again.. every milestone she reaches will make me proud but will hurt my heart at the same time... because it's just one more thing I'll never get to experience again... I feel crazy.