Everything in my life is planned, organized or in some form of a checklist! It's great sometimes & other times it can be a major burden! It stops me from being spontaneous! It stops me from living in the moment! It causes extreme anxiety when I don't know dates, times or details!! It can really weigh me down at times!

So let me just tell you, this week has been very hard for me! Waiting on a baby to come when she's ready is all about living in the moment and my guess is that it's going to be very spontaneous! This wasn't in my plans! In fact in my head for months I was so certain that she would be born early! I have it in my calendar that our family (the 3 of us) is supposed to attend a wedding together Saturday. I've had the dress picked out that she's supposed to wear for months! I had plans of taking her to a shower next week and to be able to take her to church for Father's Day. But here we are still waiting...

And in the waiting God has and is continuing to teach me so much! He's reminded me that he is in control and as much as I want to be the one with my hands on the steering wheel, I need to let go completely and trust Him to drive the car! Sometimes when you are a planner, it's easy to forgot that ultimately God makes all the plans, and his plans are not always going to be told to you 3 months in advance. You may not get all the details & they may be spontaneous! But his plans trump all of mine! He's taught me that instead of sitting around wishing Paisley was here to take these moments to get on my knees and pray...pray for her health, her life, her future!

So today as hard as it is for me, I am going to live in the moments. I am going to get down on my knees and pray. I am going to let Jesus take the wheel and be in charge of all the plans of my life! And I am going to remind myself that there is a perfect birthday already picked out for my baby girl and she will come in God's perfect timing!