Should I Stay with My Immature Boyfriend for Our Baby?
so my boyfriend of almost 7 years we are expecting our first baby girl in july. hes a good man doesnt hurt me, cheat etc. but he is all about himself and when i say this i mean he will drop $200 on himself for nice clothes while here i am wearing old clothes, buy himself a project car while my daughter needs a few more things and her room done before she comes. he hasnt bailed on me and shows my daughter alot of love. but i need for him to get a real job not selling weed or landscapeing.. I need him to get proof of income so in a year we can move out. i dont work right now so i depend on him to pay all my bills. i tell him im going to look for apartments he says what kind of mom are you allowing ur daughter to grow up the way you did. its my own place it doesnt matter where it is. where we live right now his moms, its all tile and not sanitary the way i would like it for my daughter to be able to crawl or have tummy time. we have a stand up shower so its going to be a struggle bathing her. he talks down on me saying fine u go im not going with u but when i get my own place dont try to move back in and go ahead be in debt. he refuses to work a proof a income job becus of the "pay." and why would i wana be broke like u used to be.. and he never wants to go around my family and if he does we are on a time schedule we show up he looks at time and says okay we are leaving at this time exactly. its super annoying and i do everything by myself pick out things for our daughter go to family events even his own family events by myself. i look like a single mom and when people ask i make up excuses for him so he or i dont look bad. i could move back in with my mom but it makes me sad because we purposly tried for 2 years to get pregannt with our daughter she didn't ask to purposly be brought in this world to just live in a split family. he needs to grow up fr. he planned nothing for my bday!! and here i am trying to plan a bbq for him. hes just immature. when i talk to my parents about this they say he will never change, your going to be a single mom, and i saw this coming way before yall got pregnant. they have nothing but the beat interest for me and my daughter it just sucks hearing that because my gutt tells me they are right and i hate that):
Lucia Cordero·
Мама сына (3 года), беременна (25 нед.)
a good relationship implies all aspects are good. not just bc he doesn't cheat or hurt you physically you should be ok. he's hurting you emotionally and mentally when he makes those comments. yea he makes easy money but in the long run there is no future. he could end up getting caught up and go to jail and you'll still be alone. If you decide to leave and he really wants to be with you he will man up. you guys planned to have this baby, so plan for a good life for her. you have responsibility in it to bc you don't need to put up with it if you aren't happy love..
Chante·
Follow your first mind! He isn't trying to change and he just wants to live rent free and keep doing the same stuff. I would go to my mom house especially if it is much more cleaner. He needs to grow up big time.
mareesa richie·
В ожидании первенца
im happy because i love him and i have so much faith in him he says he will get a "job" after she is here.. he says his mowing company is a job but what about in the winter?? and yes he could go to jail his sisters bf they have two kids together just got arrested a year ago for that and has been in there for a year! i need him to realize that. and get his act right for me and her. get his priorities straight and stop procrastinating on getting her room done.. im not happy because this is what i invisioned on how it was going to be bringing her into the world purposly so here i am feeling like shit because she is so precious and innocent and didnt ask for this.. he does get her things, but on his time not when she needs it.. i just have so much faith in him and our relationship that, thats what is keeping me around.. everything i do i want to do it for her sake. i dont want to ever feel like i failed something that could of been fixed.. you know? and her resent me for that @lucyyxoxo_
mareesa richie·
В ожидании первенца
@chantebrandon, he pays rent here.. but whats stopping us from geting our own place is that i would be the only one after i have her with proof of income.. he gets paid cash.. so its no proof. he does need to grow up. he talks down on me if i get an apartment.. like its something i could call my own! and hes like when are u gona go back to work etc.. like fool when are u gona go get a proof of income job. dnt worry bout me.. i just want to make the right decision for my daughter i dont work i have no money in my name not even a single dollar. but my mom helps me i eat, i have a roof over my head, my daughter has everything she needs besides the swing i need to get her and finish her room by painting it and getting curtains.. i have clothes too. so im not complaing . but i have nothing to offer her right now until after i have her and work again. it makes me feel so useless as a mom/: my daughter is my rock and what keeps me going. i just want him to get a real job, get a place with me, and realize that we come first. and also go around my family more. my family is so family oreiented and he is not used to that at all! im trying to show my daughter what its like to have a big family and to always go to family events like dinner , memorial day swimming time etc. its just what my family does. and he needs to realize that.. i have to literally beggg him to go with me.
mareesa richie·
В ожидании первенца
i need him to quit buying bullshit things like that model car. your a dad now she comes first
Lucia Cordero·
Мама сына (3 года), беременна (25 нед.)
when you're only dating someone, that lifestyle may be acceptable. but then again you know ahead of time that's the lifestyle they may always lead. when you decide to start a family things need to change. you need to both be doing something that your daughter will be proud of. I can understand that you want to give him time bc you have faith in him. but are you going to be happy when she doesn't comes and months go by and nothing has changed? you need to talk to him and really get it into his head that you guys are bringing a life into this world.
mareesa richie·
В ожидании первенца
i know i try to talk to him but he always has this way of turning things around on me, and what have u done for her u dont work etc. well because i cant work!! you being a man you are suppose to take care of us while i cant work.. but i hate that lifestyle its annoying and so childish to me. my daughter deserves the best. and she comes first. i know i have faith in him but i know i can be a great mom. she wont look at me not being able to give her the nicest everything its about the love that i can give her. i graduated high school, he didnt, i started my first semester in college taking the fall off cause she will be born in July so only 1 month when school starts again. he always says u need to figure out what ur gona do career wise im like what about yu? quit turning this on me. im going for my basics and then deciding. i wanted to do hair hes like omg that dont make shit, i wanted to be a teacher he said nah i would be a doctor. like why dont u be one then?? like he should be proud of whatever decision i make. and no thats when i will have enough/: we just tried for her for 2 years went and seeked doctors help etc. now theres a possibility of her living in a split home and that makes me feel terrible): like princess im so sorry. @lucyyxoxo_
Lucia Cordero·
Мама сына (3 года), беременна (25 нед.)
this is why would should always have our things together before having a baby. I'm on the same boat as far as wanting to finish school and bettering myself. that way we don't have to depend on anyone. if we're alone at least we have our shit together. don't let him belittle what you want to do. you can do it with or without him. simple as that.
mareesa richie·
В ожидании первенца
yes mam i know i can thank you so much @lucyyxoxo_