I am so ill. my husband hasn't changed a diaper since the day my son was born, he said he won't…

I am so ill. my husband hasn't changed a diaper since the day my son was born, he said he won't spoon feed him. and he has never given him a bath. meanwhile he's going to Missouri for 2 weeks with his family to go now fishing and he's back at his buddy's house while he works in weekdays since he moved me up to sanford. and they get to go coon hunting tonight and have fun and he gets to get drunk while he's there all week. mind you him and his buddy made kik accounts and had random online birches sending them nudes and his buddy is married. he said he wouldn't do it again but it's like how do I believe that when I know they're gonna be getting drunk Monday through Thursday :(. I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one who made this baby. yes he supports us so I don't have to work but damn man, I don't give him shit that he watches porn because I watch it to and I have sex with him as much as possible as long as mother nature isn't visiting and he still had to have women send him nudes? I'm still hurt trying to let go of my grudge but now that he's back down there all these negative thoughts run through my head and I love my son but sometimes I need a break. to go out with friends(to bad I don't have any) but still I'm just frustrated man.