ok ladies... please no bashing... I'm in need of some serious advice here please.. this is pretty long, so bare with me.... I'm a FTM to a 4 month old baby boy. I'm 28 yrs old and for years and years I thought i was "broken" (unable to reproduce). Well, when I was 24 I got preg by whom I thought was the man I would marry....7 short weeks later, Jesus had other plans and I miscarried 😞 well, 3 years later, I got preg again... finally got to have the baby I've been wanting for God knows how many years. my rainbow baby (baby after miscarriage). Well, me and the father had been together for 6 years and we were both crazy excited to have a baby... so he made me think. Unfortunately, things changed a month after our son arrived 😞😞 and I just don't think he can handle being a dad like he thought and he left. Now he's saying he misses us like crazy and loves us all that fun stuff but I've always told him actions speak louder than words. well, my ex fiance of 7 years comes back into the picture...we start hanging out and stuff and he does extremely well with my son. He has done more with and for my son than the bio dad and he ends up telling me he had spent 5k on his ex trying to figure out why they couldn't have kids. (it was her, he took a test) well, here's the thing...life with my ex fiance would be a million times better than with my son's bio dad. We would never go or be without, I won't have to worry about him doin fucking drugs behind my back, he's ambitious, personable and has his shit together. Whereas my son's father, ....just doesn't. So, here's the question....my ex fiance, is dying to have his own child...part of me wants to give it to him. But I told him "let's just see how you do this year with my son and we'll go from there." he wants me to get off birth control (the mini pill since I'm breastfeeding) like ASAP and try for another one this year...i just think it's way too soon to try to have someone else's baby. i mean I just feel horrible just thinking about it. I know in my heart he would be a great dad and I TOTALLY fucked up by leaving him 6 years ago but I wouldn't have my son if I didn't.. he says we're getting too old to be waiting around anymore. he'll be 30 next year and I'll be 29... part of me wants to wait, part of me wants to try and another part of me just isn't sure if I want another...idk wtf to do.. help?? 😞😭💔