Mom.life
ok ladies... please no bashing... I'm in need of some serious advice here please.. this is pretty long, so bare with me.... I'm a FTM to a 4 month old baby boy. I'm 28 yrs old and for years and years I thought i was "broken" (unable to reproduce). Well, when I was 24 I got preg by whom I thought was the man I would marry....7 short weeks later, Jesus had other plans and I miscarried 😞 well, 3 years later, I got preg again... finally got to have the baby I've been wanting for God knows how many years. my rainbow baby (baby after miscarriage). Well, me and the father had been together for 6 years and we were both crazy excited to have a baby... so he made me think. Unfortunately, things changed a month after our son arrived 😞😞 and I just don't think he can handle being a dad like he thought and he left. Now he's saying he misses us like crazy and loves us all that fun stuff but I've always told him actions speak louder than words. well, my ex fiance of 7 years comes back into the picture...we start hanging out and stuff and he does extremely well with my son. He has done more with and for my son than the bio dad and he ends up telling me he had spent 5k on his ex trying to figure out why they couldn't have kids. (it was her, he took a test) well, here's the thing...life with my ex fiance would be a million times better than with my son's bio dad. We would never go or be without, I won't have to worry about him doin fucking drugs behind my back, he's ambitious, personable and has his shit together. Whereas my son's father, ....just doesn't. So, here's the question....my ex fiance, is dying to have his own child...part of me wants to give it to him. But I told him "let's just see how you do this year with my son and we'll go from there." he wants me to get off birth control (the mini pill since I'm breastfeeding) like ASAP and try for another one this year...i just think it's way too soon to try to have someone else's baby. i mean I just feel horrible just thinking about it. I know in my heart he would be a great dad and I TOTALLY fucked up by leaving him 6 years ago but I wouldn't have my son if I didn't.. he says we're getting too old to be waiting around anymore. he'll be 30 next year and I'll be 29... part of me wants to wait, part of me wants to try and another part of me just isn't sure if I want another...idk wtf to do.. help?? 😞😭💔
28.05.2016

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camcam216
camcam216
@jacesterlingsmommy, perfect response!! Thank you. You're so kind 😃
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
missing154user
missing154user
For starters I do not think you're too old at all. IMHO you have another good 5 years of baby making. My SO is 31 and he didn't feel ready until now (granted I'm 6 years younger than he is) We both agreed that if we have another we wanted them a couple years apart but no more than 5 and by that time he says he doesn't really want children after 36. Everyone is different. My aunt had my baby cousin at 41, it's all personal preference. With that being said I would definitely wait. Your baby now is only 4 months old. Just enjoy life the 3 of you and get to know eachother again. If he truly loves you he will wait and will understand regardless of how great of a father he will be. As someone else said, of you're already unsure of the whole thing I think you have your answer. Having another baby is a huge step in any relationship and shouldn't be taken lightly. Just do what you think is best.
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
deafmama16
deafmama16
Stick what you feel is right and waiting till you're 30 or 29 isn't old 😊 I'm 21 and will be 22 when I have my son it's gonna be really hard but waiting until things settle down and situated is best 😊
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
camcam216
camcam216
@mamaash, @desirechild @michelleaaliyah @chunkymonkey9115 thank you for your advice! Putting more into perspective for me. Really appreciate it!!
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
if you're already uncertain about having another baby right now. that right there is your answer. you shouldn't get pregnant again unless you yourself are 100% sure you want too. if he loves you and cares he will wait. another baby at 30 or 31 is absolutely okay too if u want to wait s couple of years. I'm 28 too:.: and before I thought it was "too old" but honestly we aren't. so wait until u know for certain
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
desirechild
desirechild
Hunny,, my mom told me to always listen to your heart. I know right now, deep inside you know the answer and what you're going to do., and you need a confirmation , which is totally ok. .. So give your body rest, and see how the year goes with your ex..it's a huge no no for drugs to be present in a relationship. ;) wish you all the best
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
michelleaaliyah
michelleaaliyah
Well Hun it's up to you are you ready for another can you handle another take your age and the age of your little one into consideration and see if it's right for you... Just take sometime for your self and really think about what you want..
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
chunkymonkey9115
chunkymonkey9115
me personally would wait and I would tell him that if he wants to be a dad so much he can wait until ur ready
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camcam216
camcam216
Thank You! 💙 @mamesey
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
missing369user
missing369user
Just ask him to wait. It's you who will be pregnant and give birth. He should respect your wishes. Tell him to be patient. I wish you luck 💕
28.05.2016 Нравится Ответить
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