Is this my hormones still all over the place or are these genuine feelings? But I can't help but…

Is this my hormones still all over the place or are these genuine feelings? But I can't help but think about babies dad, like he's constantly on my mind!!! Whether I'm cursing him and wishing him a miserable life or imagining how things would be if we stayed together and we where a family to getting myself upset imagining him with someone else. Seriously hoping these feelings leave! Or will I always have a place for him because after all I have had his son who looks exactly like him! Just so confusing 😂 one minute I'm wishing he would come running back the next I'm saying to myself "no, he needs to loose his job, get his cold heart broken and just fuck off" 😂