I don't know if anyone has ever watched Dexter but I just started watching it and at the begining he…

I don't know if anyone has ever watched Dexter but I just started watching it and at the begining he explains that he doesn't understand how to show emotions and it's exhausting to try but he wishes he can be normal. that is how I feel about friendships. I don't understand it, I don't know how people can do it. I have never had friends not like what I see people having. I try so hard but it physically makes me tired and worn out. I am so jealous of my husband he has so many good friends and I want to want that but the thing is, is that don't want it, I like being alone and I'm lucky my husband understands and wants to help but I don't think I'll ever not be like this..anyone else? I feel stupid that I don't comprehend