Need to vent feeling really alone and upset right now 😢 sorry for the long post.
Need to vent feeling really alone and upset right now 😢 sorry for the long post.
So me and my oh tried for our little bean.. And I thought because this was something we both wanted and are excited about we'd both have to give things up. I stopped drinking a while before baby was conceived and changed my diet even though I've put on a ton of weight, I don't feel attractive anymore and I'm really self conscious. And also lost a few friends. Gone through most of the pregnancy norms.
Where as my other half still drinks constantly and smokes around me. He drinks almost everyday he'll come in go on his phone and play games yeah we talk and get along really well. But recently the drinking has bothered me because I can't have conversations with him and it's expensive and I'm worried about his health. I speak to him about it he always tells me he likes to chill after work and I said he can do that without drinking.
Well tonight I lost it because yet again he's had a drink. I've tried to explain I feel like I'm going through this alone because I've done so much and he won't give up one thing for me. And that it upsets me. I'm not asking him to give up all together, just to cut down. I love him and I know he loves me and the baby. But tonight he's made me feel like I'm being really selfish and he's hurt my feelings he doesn't get the whole hormone thing I can't stop crying. Am I asking too much ? :(
Bethany·
Мама дочки-младенца
You aren't asking too much hun. It isn't fair on you really. Every now and again is ok. Maybe he should keep the drinking to a minimal? and the smoking isn't good fot his health or the babies. There's many risks surrounding it. Also..when the baby comes..he wont get to act as freely as he does. Maybe explain these things to him? Xx
zara·
How much is he drinking when he gets back? is it one or two beers or more? My other half sometimes comes back from work and has a couple of beers to unwind which I don't mind at all but if he was drinking everyday and quite a bit then I would be pissed off. He will also happily go without if we can't afford it. Have you tried explaining that he won't be able to drink all the time around a baby? That he will need to be in his right frame of mind to look after him/her? xx
Shona·
@winterbaby95, I wish he would, after this argument he's now sleeping as far as he can on the other side of the bed. I've explained to him he doesn't listen to me ..
Shona·
@zaralee71, a 3 litre bottle of dry cider. I don't mind if it's a couple of cans.. But when he starts getting tipsy I can't deal with him. He knows that and had promised to give up when baby is here x
zara·
That's a ridiculous amount! are you sure he isn't dependant on that? I don't mean that to cause offence it's just that does seem a bit extreme on a regular basis xx
Shona·
@zaralee71, I know right :-) he's done it for years.. I want him to cut down gradually before giving up.. He's made me feel like I'm being completely selfish tonight. I can't cope with it anymore it's not fair.
fred·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
I work in an addiction service and 3 litres of cider is the dependent drinkers 'choice' of drink. maybe he reacted badly because he feels he can't stop or cut down and isn't ready to admit he has any alcohol related issues. feel free to pm me if you want to chat about this or ways for him to safely reduce down. xx @robotunicorn
Ashleigh 🎄🎅🏻·
В ожидании первенца
My partner use to have a drinking problem and a problem with prescription drugs and i told him I wont have that around my daughter, he soon sorted himself out xx
zara·
sorry hun, didn't get a notification. No it isn't fair on you at all. Maybe he is scared? It's worth having a calm discussion with him about it. I know it's easier said than done as he probably won't listen but it's important that he tries xx
Shona·
He's given up before so I know he can do it. He bottles his emotions up and he doesn't talk to me about them, and I think it's more do with a family member of his passing recently and him being there when it happened. Thanks for all your replies xx