This girl I grew up with is driving me bonkers. She's over 250lbs, and she wants a child "more than…

Good lord 😐😐😐😳

Tell her you had a friend named Kimberly who was overweight and due to weight issues she had her baby really early. I mean, I wasn't that size or anything, and my "overweight" issues didn't cause Oliver to be early, but you could totally stretch the truth and scare the shit out of her. I can't really handle people who aren't willing to make sacrifices for their babies. She doesn't even have a baby yet but she can't wrap her mind around the idea of getting healthy first. This frustrated me.

She doesn't want the baby bad enough then. I know breaking your bad habits is hard. I used to eat so much junk food before I was pregnant like I was addicted to it. But once I found out I was pregnant I stopped because I knew I had to eat healthier for m baby. Because junk food wouldn't give me the nutrition that my baby needed. I know it's not the same scenario but the point is you would do anything for your baby. She obviously doesn't want the baby bad enough

if she isn't willing to improve herself, and make that sacrifice then she clearly isn't ready for a child.

sorry y'all but it's not for your judgement to be passed she will make the choices that are right for her... if you don't like her convo move on... don't worry about things that don't pertain to you... and sorry it's usually more than just a weight issue fyi

@sparklymama, I think this girl who posted this could say the same to you lol if you don't like it move on. People will always have an opinion and you can't tell others to not worry about others if you're doing the same by commenting on this. I'm just saying.

@sparklymama, considering I've never commented on anything of hers in her social media, then I'm doing exactly what you said to do. I posted here. I'm pretty sure I remember you posting something about how you're sick and tired of women "enabling terrible behavior" a few days back, and that they need to not accept the negative in their lives. Same thing, isn't it? Wasn't that you passing your judgement? You're making comments about how ladies should do things differently, when all I'm saying is if she really wanted a child so badly, then she would do whatever it takes. The thing is. She posts about 15 times a day. She had posted everything her doctor has told her. He has a full layout of what diet to follow and an exercise routine. So, she had the tools, but not the drive to try.

@kimberlyyyy_the-preemie-mom, I'm afraid to comment on anything of hers because she's a little crazy. Haha! But, maybe!

@bishop0301, @kelseys exactly. Being a mother is all about sacrificing for the better of your child. I know I sure as hell listened to everything my doctor told me to do. It blows my mind that she won't even try. It's fine, that's totally her choice, but at least stop posting about how you would do anything to have a child, when really you wouldn't. Haha.

Blows my mind that you felt the need to go out of your way to vent your frustrations about someone else's business on a social media forum. Just curious, does is make you feel better to vent these frustrations? Do you feel like you're a superior mother because you are not over weight? Just trying to understand here.... Is your lack of compassion something you plan on teaching to your children? The fact that this is an issue for you is just mind boggling to me. I wish I had your worries, or should I say the lack thereof?

I would be more concerned about the cheese I'm putting in my Mac n cheese, the woman in my baby's monitor and those pesky hemorrhoids. Just saying... Kindly unfollowing because your posts bore me anyways...

@bernadette, I grew up with this person. Her mother is best friends with my mother. This is something that is talked about often ... How "sad it is that ___ can't get pregnant." I posted this because I was wondering if I'm WRONG for not feeling bad. I was wondering if I was wrong for feeling like if she really wanted a child she wouldn't eat multiple cheeseburgers a day. Yes, maybe it did make me feel better to vent my frustrations..To see that others agreed with me. I'm definitely not a superior mother because I'm "not over weight". I am superior in the fact that when I wanted to have a child I changed my eating style (dropped meat completely out if my diet.) and changed my unhealthy lifestyle for a healthy one. And, my lack of compassion stems from the 15 posts a day she posts, one after another, about how she'd do anything for a child, and then the following one is about how she cant believe she just "ate an entire pizza" herself. My lack of compassion stems from the fact that she and her mother didn't come to my baby shower because it was "just too hard". It's unfair that I felt bad for being pregnant when I did exactly what my doctor wanted me to do. I will, since you're so concerned, teach my daughter and other children that they have to work for what they want. That a healthy lifestyle and diet are not an option but a necessity. Does this help you understand better?

@jennatess my post earlier in the week pertaining to women enabling bad behavior was a women's empowerment post... it makes me sad to see women accept poor treatment from men... I did not aim on anyone in particular so no I was not passing judgment I was stating my feelings on a certain topic.... I see your point with saying if she wants something to happen she needs to take control on her destiny but to me out appeared your frustration was of who she is overweight and not doing something about it and that to me equated to passing judgement

@rockysmommy, I was stating that its not people's place to pass judgement... this is not a just move on scenario having walked a mile in the shoes that this post is about and changed I can comment on this with vast knowledge without paying judgement on someone

thank you @bernadette someone who gets it!!!

@jennatess, have you ever struggled with weight?

@bernadette, I posted my concern about the cheese, obviously as you saw. My father just died and things have been weird in my home, thanks very much. And the hemorrhoid post was to help other mothers since I didn't have a problem with them besides immediately after birth. I don't know why you join this app to be so hateful, but you really need to check yourself. You been here for a whole 10 minutes, and you're already out looking to be rude. If you hadn't just join here, you would understand that I'm probably one of the most helpful people on this app, as well as probably one of the nicest. This original post was about somebody I personally know and grew up with. I'm not sure if you're just aggravated because you're overweight? Or maybe you're just out looking to be mean? But I was completely justified and posting what I posted. I will be sure to make sure everybody knows just how hateful you really are.

@sparklymama, I have. In the past. Then, when I was about 22 years old, I sought help from a dietitian, and changed my complete lifestyle. I lost 60 pounds.

@jennatess, sometimes it's not that simple... for example people with eating disorders, people who have had trauma and do not have effective coping techniques... I comment because I've been where that girl is that irritates you... before I started my journey I weighed 334lbs I put on the brave face I love my food etc and heres the kicker even got pregnant at that weight... the back story of that a completely violent domestic abuse marriage where my self worth was shot and I was being beaten feared for my life daily... I will not go into the details further of what happened to my child... but I will say this after someone had compassion enough to help me get out I began to heal I got down to 220lbs I left that awful situation and started to get some self worth and now here I am... just saying there is always more than meets the eye and compassion can truly make all the difference rather than using judgement and frustration

kudos to your loss of 60 lbs but it may be more than just a dietician and fat shaming never helps anyone @jennatess

I'm sorry, I do not remember reading anything about you asking if you're wrong for feeling the way you do. I do hope, however, that you have at least stated your opinions to your great friend of many years, being that you're so concerned for her well-being. Also, because you're obviously the model of what a pregnant or soon-to-be pregnant woman should be. Damn, I guess I'm a bad mom for maintaining my red meat eat habits while I was pregnant 🙍🏼. I'm glad I did though because I definitely needed to maintain my iron levels while caring for baby number 1.

@sparklymama, I totally understand that so many things can go into the reasoning. But, I again. I know her personally. She's been apart of my direct family since we were 8 years old. I know her life well. Her reasoning is depression caused eating. I posted what I posted to see if I was in the wrong for being irritated. She and her mother didn't even attend my baby shower because they couldn't attend something like that when they weren't able to have a baby / grandchild. This is supposed to be a friend of mine, but here she is being so selfish as too not be there for my shower. And if I were truly fat shaming her, I would've done it to her face. Of course, I would never do that. 

@bernadette, she's my mothers best friends daughter. She's someone I've known all my life, but definitely not a "great friend". You're putting words in my mouth. I said I change my diet, because that's what was needed for me to conceive. And I wanted to be in the best possible health. Is that so wrong? Bottom line, having a child is all about sacrifice and doing what is best for your child… She's had everything laid out for her from her doctors, and if she can't seem to follow those to conceive, then she really doesn't want to child all that bad.

Yes you know me too well! I actually joined because I find the questions I have about being a mom being answered in many of the comment sections. I don't post a lot because I most of my questions are already answered. I'm sorry you think I'm hateful, I'm really not. I just get rubbed the wrong way when people have such strong opinions about someone else's lifestyle (especially about someone in particular) and they aren't involved in the conversation to defend themselves. You obviously have your opinions, as do I, and this was mine about your post. Yes my comment about the cheese was slightly catty, I'll give you that. That doesn't make me a hateful person just because I say your posts bore me... Anyways just how these posts typically go, off subject! Let's just play nice now and call it a disagreement! It happens and just because someone challenges your beliefs doesn't make them a hateful person.

@jennatess, how awful that someone felt like they couldn't come to your baby shower because of something going on with them personally... if you have to ask if you're "wrong" for being irritated the answer is yes... in your soul you know your line of logic is not being a great human being if you even have to consider am I being wrong by feeling like this... I'm sure many others attended your baby shower to celebrate with you... what that girl did was not selfish it was for self preservation you said yourself she has depression... if your heart was in the right place for this post it would never have crossed your mind "am I wrong to be irritated?" always check with self so that you do not need the validation of others period... @bernadette had it correct "compassion" is your lesson

Exactly! Anyone can have a child, but a mother makes sacrifices for them. The second my doctor told me I had gallstones, something so small changed my diet because there's always the risk of something going wrong and then who will take care of my children? my crazy MIL? hell no! lol. Rather go out and be with friends? Nope, my kids need me. Some people just don't understand. And I have no clue why these women are so butt hurt over this post when there is no judgment at all from you or anyone that commented. nobody called her fat, she's horrible person for this, ect, when all anyone said was SACRIFICES need to be done if you are a mother or want to be one, even it that sacrifice is diet/health. and that other lady is dumb to say anything to you and what you post! I've followed you since I have no clue when but its been along time since I've been here since 2014 and I've never seen you post something judging, or shaming others, not even start something.

@kelseys, I really hope you're not aiming your comments at me but I'll be woman enough to ask who are you referring to?

@sparklymama, yes, why are you guys mad over this post when she clearly hasn't said anything judgmental? and who is the other lady to say anything about her posts and what she posts

@kelseys, no one was mad well I wasn't I can only speak for me... I simply commented I felt she was passing judgement when it's not for her to pass ... the post was very much about shaming someone for being overweight if it had been about sacrifice she would've said this lady I know is driving me nuts because she hasn't learned that having children is about sacrifice and left it at that instead it was a long rant about the lady being overweight and continuing to stuff her face and wondering why she couldn't get pregnant aka fat shaming ... and word to the wise if you have an opinion stand on it come right at the person you are speaking about... hiding behind an anonymous post is a cowardly move ... you want to come at me call my name so I can answer you

@sparklymama, I actually was talking to @jennatess not really you or the other women because believe me, if I really had something to say I would've tagged you, so no I'm not hiding behind a screen to call anyone out, which I didn't call anyone out, but I guess.