🚨 Rant 🚨 School and work stressing me out. Bummed about my body. All this moving house to house and…

🚨 Rant 🚨

School and work stressing me out. Bummed about my body. All this moving house to house and eventually to the final house is getting to me. I don't have a room for her yet. I can't paint or do anything until the house is done. Everything is still in boxes. Do you know how depressing it is to look into a room filled with your child's things and can't do a damn thing with them. Plus they're 3 hours away from me! By the time we move into the final house I'll be 38 going on 39 weeks... She could be here by then! We'll have to rush and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to enjoy setting everything up. Have enough time to add little touches. I'm crushed. I should be getting excited/nervous but I'm too depressed and upset. Then I'm worried about postpartum depression. What if this depression carries over after birth? Haven't told anyone how I feel because it's not their fault. They're doing what they can. I just feel like a real piece of crap. I'm miserable and I don't want to feel this way. It's hard to be happy when you're too busy worrying/stressing that you can get things done in such a short amount of time. I can't talk to baby daddy since he's gone in Arizona for training so no phones. I miss him. I wonder if he misses me too or if he thinks about us. He's a softy on the inside and an open book so I miss our talks. I wanna talk about the fact I'm about to have her soon and feel that excitement. The only time I can do a little bit of it is at work to my female coworkers but I mean we're not friends. I feel so lonely... If you read this far thank you. You don't even have to say anything I just needed it off my chest since this is the only place where I feel like I can.