this last Monday I felt awful cramping, terrible cramping almost labor-like. I could barely walk and by nose bled…

this last Monday I felt awful cramping, terrible cramping almost labor-like. I could barely walk and by nose bled profusely. I called my mom from work and we headed to the hospital. With sheer excitement running through our veins we were then told that after several attempts from 3 doctors they could not find her heartbeat on the monitor. I lay there in so much emotional pain and grief. I started to blame myself. Thinking back to what it could have been. I was 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant. she could have been due ANY day now. I felt her moving. and 4 days prior had a nst where I could see her practicing her breathing and see her moving her little feet. I was so in love. and now my entire world came crashing down. they admitted me into labor and delivery and I stood there hearing all these "I'm so sorry for your loss" which in the end could not return my baby to me. after 3 days extended stay and inducement of labor I gave birth to my baby girl on April 20th, 2016. She weighed 4 lbs 10 ounces, and for her gestational age was extremely long, a whole 18inches! although she had long passed I cradled her and stared down at the most beautiful and the most delicate little fave I have ever seen. with a delicate little nose and pretty dark THICK hair. the doctors kept telling me that they had never seen so much hair on a baby. I loved how Loma Linda just cared for her and talked to her. My mother and father were there and just loved on her. there were so many tears and overwhelming grief. and it's been 2 days since I lost her. you cannot imagine unless you yourself have lost your child just how traumatic it can trully be.

but I wish you mommies the most pleasant of pregnancies and mother endeavours. I say a farewell now. and give your babies lots of adoring kisses for me. 💕