is it wrong to tell my fiancés mom off for trying to tell me im doing everything wrong for MY child?…

No the key word in your statement is that it's your child and not hers. But be as respectful as possible but let her know that you will be doing things your way so thanks but no thanks for the advice

like she is controlling as all can be @anandashamion and if i tell her one thing she wont listen to it

What has your husband said about it. Have you asked him to talk to her? My sister went through the same thing and finally her husband had to stand up and tell his mom to back off before it puts her in a situation where she won't be around her grandchild as much as she would like. You both have to be united and put your foot down and not ease up. Once she realizes that you are serious and that her ways will do nothing but hurt her and you guys relationship in the end she should ease up some. At least when she's around you

no its not wrong. it's your child. if they won't listen when you're being nice only way left to be is an ass.

she wont listen we have already tried we have an application with the housing authority we are just waiting to hear back