Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

My stomach is sooo heavy at this point I’m ready for these 4 weeks to fly by !! Idk why my stomach be so huge for my kids to come weighing 5/6 pounds at 39 weeks they be so tiny compared to most the babies in the nursery !!! Maybe I carry a lot of water idk but it makes no sense and I guarantee when I go for my sono next week when I turn 36 weeks they gone say she’s only 4 pounds right now !!!

Ovia app had me 2 days away from AF until I got this tonight on CD 25. Now I wait almost 2 more weeks, making this seem like the longest cycle ever... oh well. Hubby and I just dtd for good measure lol

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

SO IF I GO ON MY DUE DATE I WILL BE 44 WEEKS DO Y'ALL THINK EM GOING TO MAKE IT MY DATE IS JANUARY 16