I've got to get my butt on the ball! I saw something the other day that totally spoke to me "being…

I've got to get my butt on the ball! I saw something the other day that totally spoke to me "being lonely is dangerous because you realize how beautiful it can be" in reality that's a smack in my face. Ever since last June I've had a series of life changing events. If it wasn't for my baby boy, I'd probably be on anti depressants right now. I seriously don't do anything anymore. I don't visit people, people don't visit me. I'm becoming a hermit. I don't go out much. I feel like my anxiety is coming back thanks to this, it's hits hard when I'm around people! I wish I wasn't and wanna cry. Like it's getting so bad!!! I need to put my foot down and straighten my ass out, but it's like those life changing events have made me scared. To love & trust. To have a positive attitude about anything. It's like I gave up! Idk if I'm hiding from it. But I know I need to move forward from it. But it seems like it's more work to do that, not to mention this pregnancy is an energy killer on top of that, it makes it harder for me to actually do anything. I keep giving myself these little pep talks. I mean there's so much more my brain could be on!!! My kids can definitely keep me busy, cleaning, getting ready for baby Mace, my husband! My life should be a busy busy one. But it's like I've let go of the wheel &. It's just a mess! Summer is coming in going to have to communicate with family and friends. Ugh. I guess I need a boost in self esteem & life. 😐