I wish to god I had my old job back, life has been a constant struggle ever since I left & to even find something…

I wish to god I had my old job back, life has been a constant struggle ever since I left & to even find something similar with the same kind of money and hours is extremely difficult for me. I've thought about asking for it back but I'm like 90% sure that it wouldn't work out & I'm to scared to even ask. I wish I could go back in time & keep my mouth shut & horomones in control.