Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

My sweet baby girl gained her angel wings this morning. She was my best friend, my true love my everything. She was so happy and beautiful, I'm struggling to say good bye. Sleep tight princess, mummy and daddy love you very very much ❤️

Is this a line??? Could this be my rainbow? Oh my goodness, I'm crying right now. AF isn't due until Friday so it's super faint. ☺️

so anxious

going to TTC again for the first time this month after a mmc in November and d&c in December. that was my first pregnancy so I'm TERRIFIED I won't get pregnant again or get a sticky bean! We have a really good feeling about it but I don't want to get my hopes up :/. my fertile week starts Sunday and I would give anything to get my rainbow baby! let's hope I get pregnant and it sticks!

So idk if I’m an asshole for thinking this but a girl I used to go to school with is having her 3rd kid and she’s planning a baby shower and she had one with her other two. I feel like a baby shower is something you do with ur first pregnancy. I live far from my family so I didn’t have one but i did have a baby registry and I’m not even doing that with this pregnancy. Idk I just feel like 3 baby showers is a lot! Especially when she gets things handed to her. Idk maybe I’m an ass for thinking that