Sometimes I feel like I don't exist to my husband. When he's around his cousins he doesnt even look at me or socialize with me or anything. And then he wonders why I don't talk to him when he starts talking to me after his cousin's leave the house. 😒😒
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Nothing like finding out your husband lied about where he was last night. I guess that will be a fun conversation when he gets up today. But idk when that will be since he went to bed at 6 something this morning. Also found out he added a girl on his snapchat that I don't know. Just really need to find something that will keep my mind off of all of this until I can talk to him about it. 😞
Rant: my son is almost 16 months, yes, I whoop his butt when he runs from me when I try to change his butt or get him dressed, and yes, I spank his butt if he flips over during a diaper change, and yes I smack his hand when he hurts other people, and yes, it has helped a lot.

This is my son Walter. Today is his birthday. He would have been five. This picture was taken when he was 16 days old. He was my first child and my only son (I now have 3 girls). He passed away the next day after this picture from congenital heart failure. It was a miracle that he lived passed 12 weeks gestation because of how severe his heart defects were. I miss him so much, I can't believe it's been 5 years. It still hurts so bad. I don't talk about him a lot out loud because I end up bawling...