Slight spotting, irregular contractions, I feel like death... Is it me or is baby coming?

How apart are the contractions?

I've had at least 6 within the last hour, hour and a half. I feel like I have to poop bad haha

...and holy heartburn batman!

Sounds like you could go into labor soon if not now, another day soon. Monitor your contractions from the start of one to the start of the next and see how far about they come.

You're soon to go in labor, walk as much as you can. Drink water to see if they'll go away if they don't keep walking until they're close. Contractions should be 3 minutes apart. So keep walking do as much walking as you can

They're a little less than 10 min apart but it feels like every 5 minutes! I can barely stand, let alone walk.

Oh snap!! :)