Literally so stresses out im sitting her crying like a big friggin baby!! I just wish everyone would quit trying to friggin upset me because i can't keep it in anymore!!

I will be 41 :/
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.

How am I going to get any bigger, I am friggin huge!!! I've gained 49lbs 😭
Sciatica in my left hip is friggin awful
Where?!?!
Can I buy a friggin bathing suit? I'm not pregnant but have to where a tankini because I WILL NOT be showing off my post baby belly this summer! Why do all tankini's and one pieces look like they were made for the golden girls?!?? I just want to cry! I leave for the beach in two weeks!!! Help me please!!!!