My exboyfriend (the father of this child) asked if he could come stay the weekend with me with his…

And additionally, if he does stay for even two weeks after our son is born, how do I make it clear that I dont want his children staying there with us? Not that I have a problem with his children. They can come visit with their little brother or we can go visit with them...But I have an almost 6 year old and haven't dealt with a newborn in just as long. He has a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and I only have a 1 bedroom apartment. I don't think I can stand that kind of stress and I don't see him being considerate enough to avoid the situation.

just put your foot down cause if you don't then he will only take advantage of it. be honest.

Giiiiiiirl. U need to squash that NOW. I understand you may need help but i promise you, u let him in for "2 weeks" and he will not leave! Trust me on this!!!

I just don't wanna bring it up if it turns out he isn't trying to weasel himself in, ya know? lol. @vero_ivan @babywhale

wow alot to think about

He's homeless in April and is trying to sweeten you up by talking about paying rent already...What do YOU think his intentions are???

honestly he has always offered to pay my rent or give me money (since he's started working, which was never when he lived with me lol). He genuinely wants to help and I know that. he doesn't like the idea of me stressing, let alone financially. and it is something I've vented to him about lately. he's paying for my $360 baby shower. I just have a sneaking suspicion that since he doesn't have a place come April he is going to try to use the ruse of helping me to be around and have a place to stay.

@babywhale, and it really is @keke1022 ! additionally I'm worried about later on and him wanting the baby unsupervised. ughhh.

He can help financially and not live on your couch. Im sorry to be so negative but i really dont believe much in people. Especially someone in his situation. The easy fix would be to weasel his way into your home and its going to be hell to get him out. Im only commenting cause u seem to NOT want that so im trying to give u a little advice as to how to avoid it which is just not letting him in in the first place! But-youre going to make ur own decision. Be smart, i wish u well!

@babyreeves, does he want to be back with you? If so you really need to think about it

I get where you're coming from! That's why I asked for advice lol. We agreed he would help out when the baby was born and that was fine until he found out he was being kicked out in April and I don't want him thinking that I will be his fall back. and @keke1022 Yes. he says I'm the love of his life and I broke him and he will do anything to get back with me. but he hasn't talked to me like that when it comes to this conversation.

@babywhale,

Ok so-i stalked your page a bit just now.. Lol and you seriously sound like suuuuuch a good person! Between helping your parents and being basically the bread winner when you were w this ex. you should make him prove himself to you if he wants back in.

Hes known according to you that the plans were to live together and for him to also contribute to having a family with you. He hasnt done any of that!!!! Thats bs, i think u deserve better, really do!

lol, I appreciate it. I try! and that was the plan when we were together, but I broke up with him almost a month ago and honestly I've never been happier! I can focus on my first born and I and not have to stress about maintaining an unhealthy relationship. I don't want to hurt his feelings by saying that, ya know? i wouldn't have a problem helping him if I didn't feel like it would bring me down in the process. @babywhale

I'm trying to not come off as mean...

Exactly. Focus on u and ur kids! Hopefully he'll realize sooner than later what hes gotta do..

He's really not a bad person, he's just not right for me. And I feel terrible that I didn't realize it sooner before getting his hopes up or bringing a child into this world that will be confused about mommy and daddy not being together. But I would give anything in this world for my sons and until he's on that same level I can't even begin to trust him to have the best interest in mind for himself, let alone our kid. @babywhale

I think u handled the text well... And i def understand, it happens like that sometimes. Can't predict how life turns out sadly. But its def worse to stay w someone just cause of a mutual child. I tried w my daughters father and she witnessed a lot of arguing and moving in and out. Im happy she was under 2 at the time but they still dont deserve to be caught in the middle of that.

I did the same with my exhusband. I was so afraid of raising my son alone and having to be financially responsible. Bryson was 2 and a half when I left his dad and he had to witness physical abuse, emotion and mental abuse, constant screaming, fighting. Hatred. And then he had to deal with the repercussions of our divorce battle for the next two years and now the issue of his dad's new failed relationship being held on to for the sake of his little sister. it's really taken a toll on him and I really don't want to continue dragging him through anything else potentially traumatic. let alone the new baby. @babywhale

😔 thats sad but, youre trying now to keep his life stable and happy. Thats the best thing u can do for him. He'll be ok!! My daughter is 8 now and honestly i dnt think she has any memory of it at all.. Sees her dad bi weekly and over all seems pretty ok considering what happened early on. Thank God they forget some stuff...

He sees his daddy every weekend and he doesn't remember the abuse between us but he sees the fighting between his dad and ex gf and she's mean to him and he doesn't understand it. Not seeing his dad as often and no longer being an only child has caused him to seek attention. but luckily it's not negative. but I do everything I can to shelter him from anymore pain and he is so loving and caring through it all. He's my little survivor ❤ @babywhale