Quite depressing when I look down and my belly is no longer there..I find myself waking up at night…

Quite depressing when I look down and my belly is no longer there..I find myself waking up at night to rub my belly and its gone 😢 And he is in the hospital...its not even like he is here and I can hold him. God, this is so miserable. I really do just want to sleep until the day we can pick him up and bring him home. Please Jesus, heal his heart quickly...I know everything happens on your time, but the wait is killing me. I just want my baby boy home.