So the father of my baby keeps pushing me to meet his new gf before the baby comes because he wants me to be comfortable with me being around her when the baby is here. I don't want to meet her. He hasn't really been around much for this pregnancy ever since he met her and pretty much put her before anything else. Yeah he would ask about how the baby is doing once in a while but once I reply that was it. It's like he thinks his job starts once the baby is here. He keeps sending me things about how other families who are in a similar situation and can be really good friends and appreciate having them in their lives. He said his point is he wants to be able to spend time with our daughter unsupervised and have her spend the night with him sometimes. I'm not stopping him from spending time with his daughter but the first year of a child's life is very important and all about bonding with both parents. Adding another person in the mix will just confuse her. Mind you they have only been dating a few months. Already living together from the beginning and she's still technically married. I just feel like he's trying to take that bonding experience in the first year away from me so they can do it as a family. Shoot if they want a family so bad then why don't they have a child together and stop trying to take mine. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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@jemmoool, you're right. baby needs to be the main focus, and it does take time to adjust. be happy she's not making him deny the baby all together. my ex denied the baby was his because of the new gf then wanted to sign over rights when the dna test came back because she didn't want him to have kids... if you ever wanna vent or anything you can PM me.
it will get better in time. in the mean time, hang in there and keep your baby's best interest as your main priority and you'll do just fine. {{hugs}}
And that's what I'm ok with as of right now while I'm breastfeeding. He doesn't understand that. And I told him at least for the first year she can't stay overnight. If he wants to see her then he needs to come around our daughter's schedule. And I told him it was a possibility his gf and I could maybe be friends in the future. I didn't totally throw that off the table. I just meant he can't expect me to be ok with it in the beginning. It'll take time for me to trust her. I just feel like that's his main focus right now. His gf being able to around our baby and not our actual child who should be our main focus right now. @sweetpeasmama716
it's a tough situation to be in. I been there. as long as you are breast feeding he can't request over night visits, but he can request visitation for hours in between feedings.... if he wants to bring his gf around baby unfortunately theres nothing you can do to stop him. :/ but you have complete control over how the baby adapts to it. if you can meet her and give her a chance, see if you can trust her. once baby is off the boob it will probably be her taking care of baby during his visitations. there's no way to make it easy.
I'm sorry you're going through this. :/
That's one thing I want to do. Get full custody of her. With his record cause of his stupid careless mistakes when we weren't together no judge will ever grant him full custody if he were ever to file for it. If anything he's gonna get the opposite of what he wants and have only supervised visits with her. Cause I on the other hand have a clean record and the courts usually favor the mother. So he better not mess with me. I may sound like a bitch for saying that but he made his bed and now has to sleep in it. Not my problem. I've always been the type of person to be too nice but I have my daughter to think about now. @tiffanyo
Good idea. Do what the state would require so if he thinks of bring to court. But does mean he has to be out your supervision.
Because he's selfish dumbass. And what makes it worse is we were together for 7 years and we were still there for each other whenever one of us needed something even after we broke up until she came along. Well I decided I am going to meet up with both of them later today and let them know exactly how I feel and what is going to happen once my daughter is here. Which is any day now. If he doesn't like it then oh well. He just has to deal with it. Thanks guys. @tater4414 @tiffanyo @xtinamj25 @princess_intheoven16
this breaks my heart for you. i couldnt handle it at all. follow your heart . its your turn to think about you and ur baby and not so much about pleasing others. maybe someday it will all work out but i feel its way to soon for him to ask you to do that. just my opinion. goodluck !!
no just the thought of another woman holding my baby and feeding acting like a mom idk makes me so mad
Hell no. If I was u I wouldnt let him have no unsupervised visits/stays. I would give him what the state requires for see the other parent.
Nope you are not wrong to feel that way. Why the heck would he be with a married woman. If he hasn't been around to hell with the pregnancy I don't think he gets to demand rights once the baby gets here, his job started the day you got pregnant by him. You're the mom so I say stand your ground set your terms and then he has to deal with it because he left you for another woman.
I'm totally in the same boat. my baby daddy is engaged and has a baby of his own. He won't sign his rights over which really upsets me bc he claims to want to be in my babies life But has yet to come to any of the appointments. My fiance wants to adopt my baby but can't unless baby daddy signs his rights over. I've already explained my feelings over and over but he still feels he is never going to sign his rights over. #Fustrated