Today has been a tough day. I swore I didn't want to go back to work until Emmalyn was in…

Today has been a tough day. I swore I didn't want to go back to work until Emmalyn was in kindergarten especially after she was in the NICU for those days. I didn't want to miss out on any more time in her first year. Then postpartum depression hit me hard and I was going through so much emotionally, mentally, physically.. That nothing seemed right or okay. Well I got a text from my old Director at a preschool telling me she was in need of an infant two teacher which is ages 9 months to 18 months and really wanted me back.. And so I jumped and said yes.

I know I made the right decision. I know I need to get my life back on track and move forward. I know I need to help contributing to the support for Emmy. I get that.. I get all of that.. But to tell my heart that it's going to be okay is hard.. She will be able to go to school with me Tuesday's and Thursday's but she will be in the next door over.. I'm very appreciative because a lot of mommies have to drop their babies off and go somewhere else. For me I'll have Emmy in the same building as me.. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday she will be at home with grandma and grandpa.

I have to dress casual professional, so I had to go get new clothes because after baby I still have major mom pudge.. It was hard trying on clothes when I've never been in double digits yet I was trying on 12/14 size pants.. Ugh...

How am i going to do this..