I just...I'm really hurt right now just thinking that its over for real. why is it that when I'm…

I just...I'm really hurt right now just thinking that its over for real. why is it that when I'm faithful I get hurt the most? like I don't want to be a cheater but it's looking pretty dqmn good compared to this. then I'll stop and think maybe we're just in a bad place right now and it will get better.