Okay I have a long post.. My son was diagnosed with a restricted air way when he was about 3 years…

Have you talked to his dad and step mom? Maybe they need to check their house for anything that's causing him to react or make sure there's no gas leaks or CO2 (I don't think they're would be they would probably be dead but I'm just giving examples) or mold. He may not be allergic to those but it could be an issue with his breathing if there is mold or maybe there's particles in the air? Sounds like you need to talk to them. Not like try and fight with them and blame it on them but maybe ask about it.

I would have dad look for allergens in their home like @abigail2801 said.... also, he's happy and such when he's with you, could something there be upsetting him while he's there? @ninjamami

Could be an allergen , or something they use to wash clothes or cleaning products.

@abigail2801, there is NO communication with his Father, and I've never even met his wife that he's been married to for 3 years. He says it's "disrespectful" to her if I was to meet her. His father just came back into his life when he was 6-7 years old. He had been in prison since my son was born until he was about 5 years old and then refused to be apart of my son's life until a couple years ago. I've tried to tell him that he gets sick every time he comes home and he blew up on me saying I'm causing problems, this and that smh. But when his dad has an issue and wants to talk to me about it, I listen, I communicate. He's just childish.

@sarahdrew, his dad called me a couple months ago and said that my son wets the bed over there, cries constantly, and is scared. He definitely blamed that on me thou, he swears he wets the bed at my home and that he's scared because of me... I seriously laughed in his face, my son is not scared of me one bit, I've never whooped him, hes like my best friend, we do everything together. He never cries, hasn't wet the bed since he was potty training... So I have no idea why he's doing that over there. My son is amazing, this year he was accepted into an advanced academic school, his counselor said he had the highest IQ that she had seen come thru that school in over 20 years. And it's no thanks to his father. His dad isn't apart of anything, he's literally just a weekend parent and that's it.

@ninjamami, do you guys have a social worker for a case that he gets to see his child? Is there some kind of legal deal between you too. If so I would inform them of what is happening. I would try collect the medical record of the doctors visit and document your son how you treated him for his condition and communicate with the someone who can legally talk to the father. Its not safe for your son to be there if the environment or the father is not suitable for the child. I would be concerned too so I would start documenting funding older documents and see if there is anyone you can contact via a social worker, or child services maybe. Is the father required visitation by law?

@jayemarie912, his dad is allergic to EVERYTHING, when I was with him he couldn't use dryer sheets or he would break out, allergic to cats, grass, mold. Damn near everything so I know he has to keep his house pretty clean and most likely uses dreft for their laundry.. I'm just so confused at what's going on.

@abigail2801, yes we have a court order in place. I'm the one that literally made his father have these visits because I thought it was good for my son to have his father in his life. If I never took him to court for this, he still wouldn't be involved in his life... I think that's the route I'm going to take, after I deliver my baby then I'll file a motion for this to go back in front of a judge. I'm due in 12 days and I don't want to put something thru court and then end up missing it so I'll have to wait until everything is settled with the new baby.

I would be concerned with the step mom. I wouldn't let him over there if you have never even met his wife. I'd try to explain that to your Ex. There are to many weird ppl on this planet to chance it. That's really odd it's only happening when he has been there.

@foreveryoung247, ive tried to tell the courts this and the judge told me that I don't need to meet the step mom that I need to trust his father's judgement. Bull fuckin shit, why is it okay for a stranger to be around my child, I'm sure she wouldn't drop her child off with someone she doesn't even know. And trust his father's judgements? The same judgements that put him in prison for over 4 years? Smh. I think I need to request a new judge when I take this back to court.

Wow yeah no doubt girl wtf that's bs ! I would file a motion ASAP. It'll probably take a month for a court date and when you go you should say what you just told me. Justice system is not always what it should be. I'm sorry your going through this. So what you have to and protect your son. I would stop sending him.

my daughter was diagnosed with reactive airway disease back in December and she has issues with breathing when she gets sick but also if she goes into am environment that is dirty or alot of dust or dirt around. we realized this everyone we would go to our friends house the reactive airway issue would act up. !maybe you could be if its the conditions or his house that's making him sick. I hope you figure it out soon and good luck

I think this is really concerning. If not only he comes home with his symptoms but he's also bed wetting, emotionally distressed, and scared those are big signs. It may not be his dad or step mom aggravating it. Does he see anyone else while there? I saw you said your son has gone to counseling, have you spoken with his counselor about his sessions? Does his counselor know that he's having the bed wetting and other issues while there? If so, I might consider changing counsellors. That screams "something is wrong" especially with his age and that he doesn't do it at home. If your ex is screaming at you about something as simple as meeting his wife or yalls son wetting the bed, it doesn't sound like he has a good hold on his temper. -sorry, I'm writing a novel, I'll stfu. It's just that I get really concerned because I was in a similar predicament when I was a child and I know what caused it /:

@evococa, well the first time I put him into counseling was a couple years ago when his father FIRST came back into his life. My son kept having nightmares at my house saying that I was gonna get hurt, he would say things like if a guy tried to hurt me I wouldn't be able to protect myself, he kept crying saying he was scared I was gonna die. Just really weird shit that he never had issues with before. He went to counseling for a few months and the issue went away. We stopped the counseling because of his new hectic school schedule and his counselor seen that he was back on track and everything seemed fine.. Now this is happening. And I never knew about the bed wetting until a couple months ago and according to his father it's been going on for over a year. My thing is, he doesn't have these problems at my home, my son's HOME. it only happens at his dad's house but his dad is blaming me for it. All I know is something is gonna be done. I don't know what's going on and it's too much of a coincidence he comes home like this every damn time. When my son never had these problems before. Especially these breathing issues. It gets so bad when he comes home that I make him sleep with me and I stay up all night to keep an eye on him.

Is there any way the breathing issues when he comes home is anxiety or panic attack related? It's really easy to hyperventilate when having an anxiety/panic attack which sounds like it would trigger his reaction. I am so sorry you and your son have to go through this. Is there any way you can cancel visits until you get a review of custody or visitation? I'm sure you'll figure something out. Praying for both of your sakes that you sort it out sooner rather than later <3