Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

My dad doesn't think I can do this #need help.

I need to ask someone this have you literally regret having a child with someone. I love my daughter with all my heart but I really regret ever being with her dad.

Cancelling FET?

My FET is scheduled tomorrow at 9:30, however I think I'm going to cancel. All week I've been having pain in my back(not like a pulled muscle) like a numbness and tingling. It has now gotten to the point I can't sleep. I'm crying because I know doing the FET isn't going to happen. I need to see what is going on and that will probably include MRI's & x-ray's, both of which I don't want to do when PUPO. Going to call my office now and talk to them. Ugggh...I'm so upset.?