I hate complaining but lungs can you please expand so I can breath? Can you chew with your mouth…

I hate complaining but lungs can you please expand so I can breath? Can you chew with your mouth closed? Can you stop breathing so loud or just stop all together? Can I turn from my right to left side in bed without it being a 30 minute drama/suspense mini series? Can I get some good catfish? Hey pelvis can you please not feel like you've split in two? We good? Ok happy Sunday.