I went into labor on October 7, 2015. As a 19 year old first time mom, I was scared and I was in…

I went into labor on October 7, 2015. As a 19 year old first time mom, I was scared and I was in pain. My mom and best friend were in the room with me, which was a huge relief and comfort. The first nurse was an old hag....and I mean that. She was rude, snobby, and disregarded anything asked. At one point my mom asked if the machine was broken or if my daughters heartbeat was really so low. The nurse told my mom to let her do her job, that the low reading for a heart rate was normal with the contractions. She did not help at all, wouldn't answer questions. My doctor arrived at 7:50 AM, 7 hours after I went into labor, and 30 minutes before I would have my baby. She felt and I was at an 8 despite the nurse saying I was only a 5 literally 10 minutes prior. She broke my water, which came out green, chunky, and nasty. Well, my doctor watched the monitor as the contractions picked up...and you could tell she wasn't happy. The nurse never notified her that my little ones heartbeat went from a 163 beat to a 49 beat in that 7 hours. She watched as it steadily dropped while I started saying I felt the need to push. She advised against it and I was livid. Like, why? Why am I not supposed to push? I NEED to push! It hurt...it was an annoying pressure and it hurt to hold back on pushing. I'm so glad I listened to her...she had practically her whole hand up inside me to free the umbilical cord from around my daughters neck. It was wrapped around securely 3 times...if I had pushed then it more than likely would not have been able to be loosened or removed in time. She loosened it enough to where I could safely push but then another complication arose...she got stuck in the birthing canal. Just great! By then her heartbeat was in the 30s. The OR was on standby for an emergency c-section but my doctor said there wouldn't be time...so what was supposed to be an easy, natural labor turned into an emergency forced forceps delivery. My eyes wouldn't focus so I was blacking out while my asthma kicked in and made it to where I couldn't breathe while the doctor yelled at her nurse to bring her forceps (the hag brought my doctor 3 wrong sets and took her good old time grabbing them!!!). My mom says she's never seen a doctor brace their feet against the bed and pull to the point of shaking while pulling a child out. She came out...but she wasn't crying. She was limp and blue and cut up from the forceps. A younger nurse, Brittany, came into view as they took my daughter. She kept telling me I did good, I did good, everything was going to be fine, breathe deep, calm down, focus on her...but I couldn't. Why wasn't my girl crying? Was she hurt? Was she even alive? I had so many negative thoughts running through my mind...until I finally heard her cry what seemed like ages after. She had passed her meconium and breathed in quite a bit of it. The umbilical cord had cut off her airway and cut so deeply into her chest and neck that she received little to no oxygen for a while. But they got her breathing and stable and clean.

My birth was horrible...it was painful and nerve wracking and full of complications. I opted for a natural, med free birth...and in choosing that I chose to feel a full hand in my vagina, I chose to feel a small monitor being inserted and stuck to my girls head, I chose to feel 3 different sets of forceps be inserted inside me, I chose to feel every tear made inside and out in the struggle to get her out alive...I chose to feel every second of the pain knowing that it'd be all worth it when I saw her face, heard her cry, held her in my arms. I strongly believe that my little girl, who is now 4 months old, would not be here had it not been for my doctor (who has a reputation for bringing newborns out alive from complicated births), and I do believe I wouldn't have been so sane had it not been for the nurse, Brittany. Every stretch mark, tear and stitch, sleepless night, etc...it is all worth it, and always will be, as I get to look at my baby girl daily...momma loves you, Samira. You weren't planned, no, and the complications weren't planned, but you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. I couldn't have asked for a better blessing 💖 Doctor Peterson, Nurse Brittany...I will forever be grateful for what you've given me.