Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I think my baby is going to make his appearance early! Not too early but I don't think I'm going to go a full 40 weeks. I can just feel it!

I know Is so early but i feel flutters it feels so weird but i love it 🥰

Eeek went to the dr and I am almost a 1... never really dialated early with the other two... so I got a little excited. She said the baby is measuring at around 38 weeks 😱so when I go next week I am going to ask about inducing.