wow its almost 2am. ugh this insomnia is killing me. some of it is there's too much on my mind so…

wow its almost 2am. ugh this insomnia is killing me. some of it is there's too much on my mind so I'm going to use this place to vent. If you pray, keep my cousin in yours please. Her husband just died following complications from a motorcycle wreck. I also recently found out two different friends died from overdoses last year. Those are the two things people I know die from the most.

Ever since I got pregnant, I guess it's the hormones, I've had to cut a lot of people out of my life. Including a pill addicted best friend and an alcoholic abusive ex. lately people keep wanting to talk about them so I just have all this heavy shit on my mind.

plus my baby daddy left for Navy boot camp three weeks ago and we really aren't close, it was just a fling with him but I really do like him, so that's weird too. I really hope he writes me but I just doubt he will. I'm even nervous he won't contact me when he gets back. and I can get my child support from him but I just really really hope he still wants to be friends and in Leo's life.

I'm waiting on my car to be fixed too and haven't had a job in a few months so I'm stressed about money. I just finished probation and had a felony but its supposed to be reduced so I have to wait on confirmation of that before I can apply for any govt help.

I'm just really thankful for my parents. I don't know what I do without them right now. I can't wait to hold my baby. I'm tired of being pregnant now even tho I know I'll miss it too. This was such an unexpected blessing despite everything.

ok I feel better now. maybe I'll sleep.