Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Honestly still just so tired of being a mom but if i did adoption if never see him i wish someone else could care for him but i still see him often or even if i got a ray off every week to live. I just dont wana be his primary caregiver :(

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I just wanna see my Callum Andrew again but I want him to be bigger come on 10 week scan!

herpes..

I'm soo sad. I've been with my husband 6 years next month. Him and SS get cold sores I thought I would never get them. Blahhh my lip is soo swollen it hurts and its soo damm itchy. I hate it I hate it. My husband just got one 3 weeks ago I didn't kiss him or share cups. :(