A lot of women here probably think I'm just some young hippie spouting off flower lyrics when I…

A lot of women here probably think I'm just some young hippie spouting off flower lyrics when I speak on deadbeats and bad relationships.

1. I'm not that young...I just turned 32. I'm not "old" but I didn't sleep thru those years.

2. Benefit from my mistakes so you can avoid the pain. I won't tell you anything I wouldn't tell my sister (if I had one) or my daughter (I'm raising 3, maybe 4 girls dependent on placement of Camiyha).

What you don't know is, my daughter's biological father is a deadbeat of sorts. Once I settled down with my husband, he (the bio) didn't want anything to do with my daughter in hopes it would hurt me. And it did for a while. Not because I wanted him, but because I felt like she shouldn't have to choose between Mommy and Daddy.

The REASON you don't know that is, because I learned very early in life to speak positively or be quiet. I won't say I didn't need to vent, but I will say I never chose to badmouth him to perfect strangers online OR my confidantes offline. I didn't isolate the kid from that side of her family. I didn't force them to choose.i didn't know it all, but I did know I chose to lay with that man. I chose to look at what I saw versus what was. What I wanted versus what he offered. I got swept up in that "ideal family" mentality just like some of you on here!

...but I didn't let it consume me. I harbor no hatred, ill will, or negative thoughts and ideation about that man. He must answer for his choices, not me. The kid is great and my husband would literally hand her the moon if he could. The moral isn't to go out and replace...it's to go forward and replenish. Stop wasting your time and energy over bullshit you cannot control. You'll realize that in life the only control you have is over YOU...and when you exercise it correctly, EVERYTHING IS a tad easier and clearer.