I love my man soo soo much we been talking about getting married and planning some stuff,but…

I love my man soo soo much we been talking about getting married and planning some stuff,but sometimes I feel like I truly just want it to be just me and my kids that way I can't have my feeling hurt or let down I been a single mom before with 2 so I know what I'd be in store for with 3 but somethings that go on with us make me just want to be on my own like right now I really just want to be single live with just my 3 sons focus on them and school figure out which direction I'm going to go after school,when I was single it felt so good and after I got over a break up which he was 6 month or more before I ended it with my 2 oldest dad i was just so happy and nothing could get me down or unhappy ,I hate the excuse I'm stressed or not happy in life is an excuse for somebody to say rude or mean things that are lowest form of disrespect, I love him to death and would hate to leave him when we have a baby or see him eventually with somebody else if I were to leave but I just need time to be alone and get myself together and find happiness just with in myself,what was said tonight really has me thinking about it idc what your issue is you know what hurts me so why throw it in my face it never fails when it comes to people I love that's why I will keep that situation of my life a secret for now on I will never tell another sole unless my kids ask one day about it ...can't wait to be done with school in 26 weeks it really needs to hurry up and fly bye...I want to be able to pay rent on my own with no housing or anything and still be able to have money left over for other bills and my kids and myself I hope the career I chose will work in my favor so nervous ...