This is going to be a bit of a TMI/personal question, so let me know if it's not allowed. I'm 3 1/2…

This is going to be a bit of a TMI/personal question, so let me know if it's not allowed.

I'm 3 1/2 months post partum. I had a natural birth with no meds. I did have to have emergency forceps used due to complications with baby coming through the birthing canal and they went through 3 different pairs before finding one that worked. Due to that, and baby getting stuck, I had internal tearing in 4 different spots and external tearing in the 2nd degree, almost all the way back. Since having my little girl I've had incontinence and urine leakage and can't control it no matter what I do. And how my stitching and tears healed up is weird and now I'm self conscious about my nether regions, not like I wasn't beforehand but still. The last time I checked down there it looked like a gaping hole (TMI), but my OBGYN/doctor told me it was fine and healed nicely. Have any other moms experienced this, or something similar? How did you handle it and get back your confidence? I don't mind my stretch marks or loose skin...it's my lady bits I am now minding. Also, there are times where it hurts to urinate. At the end there is a great deal of pressure. And then throughout the day randomly it will feel as if my nerve endings are exposed. It feels like mini lightning bolts for about 10 seconds, like needles constantly poking. Any ideas, advice, stories, or help any other moms can offer?