today was my first day back to work. and my first day way from my baby. i thought it would be harder but i guess cuz i knew he was in good hands with my mom it made it a little easier. this was a pic she sent me when i asked how he was doing. it brightened my day greatly.
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no, his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me and did something else with an other girl.... and it's 10:51 am now and he hasn't texted me at all. and after he dropped me off I texted him saying what I felt and nothing. I don't know if I'm over reacting or what or what should i do. do i wait until he text me?
I swear he makes my day! My SS came over and first thing he did was hug me and said happy Mother's Day! I swear I cried when I went to lay down in bed, I literally just walked in the door from an hour walk, I took off my shoes and I hear a knock it's him and grandpa Phil lol and I swear this boy is amazing lol.
I just want his arms wrapped around me one last time and hear words come out of his mouth that arent true "I love you".. I miss him so bad. My first love! My first relationship! He was many of my first and I know today isnt even the hardest day yet.. I literally hate that I love him so much.
This is gonna be my first, but I want 2. :)
This is my son Walter. Today is his birthday. He would have been five. This picture was taken when he was 16 days old. He was my first child and my only son (I now have 3 girls). He passed away the next day after this picture from congenital heart failure. It was a miracle that he lived passed 12 weeks gestation because of how severe his heart defects were. I miss him so much, I can't believe it's been 5 years. It still hurts so bad. I don't talk about him a lot out loud because I end up bawling, so i thank you for letting me share this with you ladies. You have always been nice and supportive. Happy birthday son, your mom loves you.
