I know none of you know me but I felt that I needed to share this. I needed to get it out.
Found out we were pregnant December 27th during an ER visit because of pain on my right side and random sickness. Never expected the news of pregnancy, yet we aren't not trying either. Doctor talked about possible miscarriage because they couldn't find anything on the ultrasound. But there was no clear answers. Was approximately 2 weeks and 4 days. Pain got worse the next day and had to go back in. The next doctor said my HCG levels went up so that was a good sign That I wasn't having a miscarriage and that I had a "LARGE" cyst on my ovary. This is what was causing the pain. Also told us that the baby was just cells and we wouldn't be able to see anything anyway. Sent us home with prenatals. We thought everything was good. As the week rolled by I seemed fine and life was good. Then January 5th I woke up, pulled out my drawing utensils and paint getting ready to start doing the baby's room. I had the sudden urge to pee and when I did there was nothing but blood. (I know TMI sorry) I immediately went to the ER and without emotion and without care the doctors walked in after taking blood and urin said I had a completed miscarriage and it was a good thing I'm A+ then walked right out of the room before I could do or say anything. I didn't even hardly react until the nurse walked in and said how are you feeling. They Gave me a shot for the pain that I didn't have and sent me home. No one told me what to do or how I should handle this. It was devastating, let alone I had my 8 year old daughter with me and my husband was stuck at work and unable to leave(yay military life)*sarcasm*....... I had to keep myself together the whole ride home because of my daughter who knew something was wrong. As soon as my husband came home he held me in his arms as a cried until I calmed down. He was hurting too I could tell by the tone in his voice. Helpless, we both were unable to say anything and wanting so much to make everything okay for one another. He just kept saying that we'd get through this and that everything would get better. Everything happens for a reason he said. He also brought home flowers and my favorite chips and dip in attempts to some how make me feel better. In a way they did but I couldn't help but break down as he stood there holding them out smiling and trying to hold everything in. Over the next couple of days my emotions were all over and I would cry over and about anything. Luckily he was texting me the whole time he was at work always reassuring me that things will get better. As long as we stick together we WILL and CAN make it through anything. As soon as he got home he would just hold me until I relaxed. This lose has caused me to become anxious and uneasy when he was away and in a sense I think I now suffer from separation anxiety. But he is here making sure I'm okay as I try to deal with this tragic news and trying to stay strong for him as well and for our family. I love him even more for his efforts. Without him I don't know how I would have made it through all this. Surly, we were already ready to try again and I did some reading. Hours and hours of research and over a hundred different sights and articles. Reading through comments and everything. breaking down and then off to reading again. We went to an OB/GYN on the 7th of January and they were rude and didn't have anything ready. We asked many questions and got no answers. Found out that on the second trip to the ER my levels did go down and yet they told me differently. So of course I found a better doctor in another town. I go This Thursday. Yesterday was my last day of bleeding and as I read through everything very carefully. I seen more women had more luck trying as soon as they stopped bleeding and became pregnant withing the next two weeks than the ones that waited. Your percentage of having a successful pregnancy is higher as well.. Your hormones are up and and you're more fertile than ever. So tonight we started our new journey. Actually trying to get pregnant. We have hope and faith more now than ever. Most of all we have each other. Such a tragedy for the both of us and yet we're closer now than we have ever been. We've decided that every other day was good for the next two weeks and then every 3 days for the two weeks after that. I know this is a little TMI but I needed to share this. Please comment and let me know what you think or what ever. Thanks for letting me share!!!
Stef