Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

My doctor said he would induce my labor at 38 weeks, if my baby girl still had growth issues and if the percentile dropped to 10 or less. Last thursday, it was 10 percentile, and he said if she didn't come on her own by 38 weeks, he would induce labor at that time. I'm 36 weeks 1 day today, he said my cervix was super thin, and 1cm dilated. Is there a possibility this can change... that my doctor will let her just come on her own? I don't want to be induced, i would much rather her come on her ...

Think we will be back in Oklahoma in a couple weeks so excited to go back home 😂😂🥴🤞🏼