My boyfriend/baby's fathers mom makes me feel like a horrid mom because I give my baby a soothing sucker (pacifier) after she eats or when she has the hiccups. She took her favorite sucker (we only had two. One of which the hospital gave us and my baby wouldn't take) and yelled at me saying "she doesn't need this shit. Get rid of it or I will" it's my child and that's her soothing object. No different then if she wer to suck her thumb (which she does if she doesn't have her sucker) or having a blankie. Let me parent my child the way I want to! She's a horrid women. When I had my baby my mom handed my baby to her and she goes "what's this" and my mom said "it's your grandbaby" and she responded "we'll see" and undressed my baby to see what parts of her were like her father, thankfully she looks exactly like her dad or this would have been a bigger issue. She was telling me what I can and can't eat and telling me a bunch of shit I already knew about breastfeeding. Thinking because this is my first baby I don't know anything. I know A LOT more than most first time moms around my age. And she's the kind of brassy lady that can tell you how to do shit or what you can or cant do but don't you dare say anything of the sort to her or disagree with what she's saying to you. UGH! Stop telling me how to be a parent!!
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I use one too for the same reasons on my two week old, also used it for both my other kids. I just took it away at two or three months old and they are all fine. you are the mother don't worry what others say, my mother is the same way I ignore her.
And you also have the right to not be around her too, she can't tell you you have to stay around, if it makes you that irritated youd find a way out of that situation for the sake of your sanity and her physical health. My dads mom thought shed do the same with my son and I because I'm only 18, and its my first baby, so when it came to naming him she wanted to and when i corrected her and said it was my choice she was like "oh i guess I won't have nothing to do with him huh?" she said that for picking pediatricians, care givers, how long I needed to breast feed, and what he should and shouldn't be eating. Mind her, my baby's 10 weeks early, I spent a month in NICU and I have had to depend on myself to make wise choices through his medical treatments. I assure you motherly instincts come naturally. If there was a manual to raise a child then we'd buy it, and since there's not we learn on our own by experience, not by someone demanding that we do something a certain way.