Sorry in advance this is long...I am torn once again between my sister and boyfriend. they hate each…

wow that's a hard one. my sister and SO don't see eye to eye either. I just try to avoid direct contact between them just so its not an awkward feeling but they've never been physical. I always try to stay neutral. in this case ur sister is wring for putting her hands on him first and he is wrong as well for hitting a female, more importantly your sister. at this time their both gonna tug at u and feel you're suppose to side with them. she feels like ur her sister so u should have her back no matter what and he is probably gonna feel like you should be on his side just off the fact that she hit him first. now I wouldn't say that u shouldn't have tried to bring peace to the situation because you weren't doing anything bad. however u can't control the actions of others. its hard to say where u should stand. in this but be unbiased and recognize his side and her side because its not like u provoked them to have that type of altercation. they chose to handle it their way

yes he said he don't care if it's a female or not if u hit a man u should expect consequences cuz u brought it on yourself I do not agree with that he making me not wanna be with him at a all that's why I broke up with him. I keep asking myself do I wanna be with someone that thinks it's OK. all he cares about is she hit him first and he defended himself @_supermommie2173

@aidensmommy110, that's right you do have to look at the situation like that. is this the kind of person u want to be with? its a hard call like I said but he has to understand what kind of position it puts u in to

I don't wanna be with a person that thinks that way. but I love him we had plans and now idk what to do. it's a lose lose situation being with him means I'm saying it's ok not being with him leaves me broken and hurt. @_supermommie2173

I'm sorry if my husband hit my sister we'd have serious problems. if your sister wasn't trying to kill him he shouldn't have laid a hand on her. I'd definitely defend my sister even if she hit my husband first. However I am southern and was brought up a man never lays his hands violently on a female. Do what you're gut is telling you to do. Good luck

she tried to kick him down the stairs...every time he grabbed his bag to go she kept hitting him he was already angry and when she hit him or kicked him he got even more angry @rainbowlovebugbunny

imma be honest. sometimes sisters can be manipulative specially if they get u to do for them a lot. some men are less than gentlemen and do strike bavk. and it is something to worry about. but in the end i always say u have to look at him as the package that he is to you. how he teeats u. and what he can do for u as a partner. and weigh that against the negatives. ur sister is being awful. amd in a way has deserved her beating. she needs to learn respect and limits. i would not stand for my sisters brother in law beating her...so why should ur sister be ne diferent. ya know. hugz.

so if it was you would end things @yummycake

in my own personal relationship i always chose to stay. even if there was abuse. so im not the typical girl who leaves when i should. i always weigh the pros andcons....in relation to my children and what i want for them. for example i wanted them to have a stay at home mom...economic stability...the male influence that hubby provides..protection. ect. in my own relationship my sister is the one i chose to keep away. because in the end she isnt my primary family anymore. my family is my children and their father. but not all men are cut from the same cloth. mine is worth keeping. even when he was bad. he isnt nemore bad. but he still messes up at times.

i meant to say not that id leave cus he beat my sister...but that ur sister being a woman doesnt give her the right to beat either. i wouldnt want for my own brother or sister to get attacked by in laws of opposite sex.i dont think neone has a right to lay a finger on another adult.

oh OK I misunderstood. basically what's happening now is as long as he is in my life my sister will not be attending any events involving him it sucks but I can't do anything about it to change her mind. @yummycake

Now I know I'm late but I'm gonna keep it all the way solid. You are in no way wrong for trying to settle things between your sis and your man. You can't MAKE anyone feel a way they don't feel. They obviously have some history as to why they are not friendly. Now you were having a private convo with him maybe you guys should have had the convo outside in a car or someplace else so she couldn't over hear but that's neither here nor there. She has NO right to attack him! He did not physically harm her with his words she was the aggressor if you all were on stairs and she first hit him then tried to make him fall down stairs which could cause him serious bodily harm even DEATH(Sounds extreme but ppl have slipped and fell on side walk and died much less stairs) he had every right to protect himself and hit her ass back! Should he continuously beat her No because he more than likely had the strength to over power her but he is not wrong for hitting her back in this instance. What could have possibly occurred between them for them to have such disdain for each other ? Did he abuse u in the past? Did she abuse you in some way as in use you, betray you? My mom don't like my BF and has talked ish that he has over heard but they never had words because he non confrontational but I don't imagine that he would ever get into it with any of my female siblings to the point of a fight unless to protect his dtr or me or himself because there isn't another option smh that's heavy idk how a relationship could work after this but maybe

me and her have had physical fights she beat me up like I was a stranger on the street my mom had to pull her off me and hit her a few times to get her to stop hitting me, she lie a lot, she wear my clothes and don't give them back, she gets jealous every time I do something she can't do, it's one thing on top of another with me and her now him me and him did have a physical thing once two or three years ago. we we're arguing and I slapped his ass and he grabbed me by my neck and pushed me across the room I fought back even pulled a knife on his ass he never touched me again after that and I have never hit him again either. there has been times where he didn't treat me as well as he should have so they don't like each other because of what each other has done to me @ginag918

So it sounds like you ladies have a problem keeping your hands to yourselves 😩 I hate how society wants to put all the blame on men when it comes to this hitting thing but want women to be equal in any other situation. That's a whole other discussion though.

I can sense this is the result of jealousy on your sisters part which is why this has gone on so long and y she's so passionate about it, sadly women need to stop telling friends and family all the ugly in their relationship ESP when she's not gonna leave because they are not so forgiving I really hope you guys can find some common ground if only for the baby's sake

I'm not really a fighter but when someone is in my face and I feel I'm about to get hit i hit first it's a reflex every time someone is in my face I can be talking calm as ever I don't need to yell but he feels the need to yell and get in my face i don't like that. I think he try to intimidate ppl by yelling and getting all in your face... my sister on the other hand she gets mad at little shit and wanna fight. I just don't like people in my face when I say in my face I mean so close our nose is about to touch ...as for me and him I don't hit him. at this point they hate each other she want nothing to do with my boyfriend that's fine cuz she not with him I am but she won't be attending any events that involves my boyfriend including my son birthdays and stuff that hurts but it's nothing I can do but accept it. so I'm losing her to certain things because of him unfortunately they won't come to a common ground. well he will she won't. I don't blame her tho. after that fight.@ginag918,