Does it make me selfish that through all the this shit going on with my baby daddy, that I just want…

Does it make me selfish that through all the this shit going on with my baby daddy, that I just want to still be home with him. I'm staying with my grandma till Wednesday to help her and it's like I still miss him, and want to talk to him. I just want to text him, but don't want to be rejected if he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm lonely here.. And I just want to cry. My mom left cause we switched shifts to stay with her but I literally almost cried when she left... I feel so selfish.. ☹️