So in honor of national Pregnancy and Infant loss day. I'll share my story. 2 years ago I was…

So in honor of national Pregnancy and Infant loss day. I'll share my story. 2 years ago I was pregnant. Although we weren't expecting we embraced the pregnancy and went fourth with it. Although I've always been overweight I've always been very healthy. My pregnancy was wonderful. I never had morning sickness, I always felt great. I enjoyed my pregnancy. About 22 weeks in I started to get pains. I thought it was normal growing pains and that it was just the baby having a growth spurt and making me very uncomfortable. Every prenatal appointment when the doctor did the fetal Doppler you only heard one heartbeat and on the ultrasound there was only one baby. Mind you they only did one at around 20 weeks for the sex. One day at work these pains got worse and worse. I always felt pain on my right side near my ribcage. I couldn't handle the pain anymore and I literally curled up in a ball in the library of the preschool I worked at. I couldn't take it and took myself to the hospital. I remember on the way there I asked God to please take my pain away and make everything ok. When I was admitted I was told I was having contractions and they were going to give medication to stop it. They did and they did. They discharged me and told me to follow up with my OB. I did 2 days later about the time I started to have pain and more contractions again. When I went to the doctor I was dilated 2 cm and was admitted to labor and delivery. They sent in a high risk specialist to do an ultrasound and discovered I was pregnant with twins. How could this be? How could no one know not even myself? So many emotions I felt. Happy. Scared. Excited. I felt like a bad mother not knowing I had bother baby in there the entire time. My son who we were expecting was taking all the room and my other son poor baby wasn't getting blood or nutrients and was stuck near my ribcage. To bring the baby down They needed to remove fluid. Mind you I also gained 9 pounds that month and my doctor thought nothing of it 😑😒. After they removed the fluid the baby came down immediately. They told me it was called #TTTS twin to twin transfusion syndrome where one baby was growing bigger than the other. I was told There was a chance that one baby could kill the other and that they could both pass away. It was just something I had to deal with but wouldn't even have time to comprehend fully my situation because everything took a turn for the unexpected so quick. Shortly after the doctor left after removing fluid I started to get the worst pains I've had in my life. I felt my son really low almost back and forth above my bladder. I had to stand up they were so bad. I was screaming for a nurse to come in I thought I had to pee but my son was coming. I told them I feel him coming out! I was rushed back to my bed and literally 20 people rushed in my room and rushed me into the OR (operating room) I remember just crying and thinking this isn't real. How could this be happening? I was just praying everything would be ok. Once they wheeled me in the OR I literally yelled he's coming and with one push my son came what seems to me flying out. They had to do an emergency c section to take my other son out because he was too weak to come on his own. Mason baby b (unexpected) born weighing 1 pound and Tyson baby a weighing 1 pound 2 ounces. I was told it would be a rough road ahead but had high hopes of them being in the #NICU. Mason was on a very heavy ventilator and his brother Tyson seemed to be doing better than his brother. Mason was so jaundiced and his skin so thin he was always covered with a blanket. He was so weak it was so hard to see him suffer. He was taken by his lord and savior Jesus 3 days later. My son Tyson who was expected to come home got an abdominal infection after 8 days and was just too small for a pic line passes at 11 days old. Although this was the hardest and most painful experience of my life. I thank god for meeting them and spending time with them. It brought me closer to God and strengthen my relationship with him and Jesus. It made me the strong person I am today and made me understand God has a plan. He would t give you more than you could handle and I know I wouldn't have been able to handle two sick babies. They would have had a hard life and they didn't deserve to suffer the way they did. I am at leave knowing God is taking care of them and that my rainbow baby I have now has two guardian angels watching over them. Mommy and daddy will always love you Mason and Tyson. Sleep peacefully my angels and fly free. Your time here as short lived because God needed more angels to protect your Family. #Oct15 #PregnancyAndInfantAwarness #InfantLoss #Twins