I have to talk to someone about this and who better than strangers on the internet... I feel…

I have to talk to someone about this and who better than strangers on the internet...

I feel worthless and empty

I keep thinking what if I waited longer about going to the hospital? would I have staid in early labor and gone to the hospital after the storm and not gotten sick?. Would I be able to breast feed my baby right now?...would I have been able to experience her newborn weeks with her instead of being bed ridden?.. I feel like its all my fault and that I was weak. I am disgusted with myself! I feel so empty like this is gnawing away at my insides.

thanks for listening...

love a confused soul.