Okay so if any of you mommas have seen some of my previous post you know that my fiancé passed away…

Don't feel selfish it is your decision. She will understand, everyone will. You're not keeping the baby from her, just want that private time. It would be the same if her son were still here. ♥️

It's altimately your choice hun. I can only imagine what ur going thru. but I'd say if it was me I'd have my mom and mil in there. it could cause stress down the line if u don't. would your fiance want his mom there?

I'm not just saying this because I don't want my mil there , because I love my mil but she's already shown when it comes to Madison she lets her emotions get in the way and doesn't respect my wishes , and before he passed it was decided it would just be me and him in the delivery room and everyone could wait in the waiting room to see her , but things are different now it's not like I'm favoring my mom over my mil it's just my mom is strong and I feel like she's going to be the best option she's had 4 kids and was in the delivery room with my aunt with all of her kids and since I'm a ftm I'm naturally scared of labor @brantleymicheal

I told my mom she can call everyone when I start to push except my grandma because she lives further away , and that will give me about an hour of in interrupted time with my baby and my mom has already said she won't try to hold Madison first and will wait until I hand her to her , in some aspects I do want my mil there but at the same time I feel like she's going to be extremely emotional and that's not something I'm going to need during delivery @morgans_mommie

I can't imagine what you're going through, I'm so sorry for your loss 😢. It is your choice though sweetheart, your labor and your baby.

Thank you , I'm making it it's hard but I know this point in my pregnancy I've gotta keep it together for my baby's sake , I feel like it's the best option and I'm going to find a way to discuss it with my mil I hope she doesn't get offended @skmamaof3

I have and that's why I feel bad because I know she wants to be there but She's already shown me when it comes to my wishes for Madison she doesn't care , I don't want there to be any hurt feelings or anything I'm considering calling her once I'm fully dilated she only lives 15 minutes from the hospital so she should be able to make it before Madison starts crowning ( how fast does labor normally go for a ftm) and I can specifically tell the nurses to make sure I get to hold Madison first and then let the grandmas hold her

@blessedmom,

It would be easier to be to yourself at that time, but I think including her for a brief period even just 30 minutes would probably mean the world to her.

My only concept is that I'm not gonna get to bond with her before someone try's to grab her from me , I don't want to be selfish but after how difficult this pregnancy has been I want to hold my daughter for a few minutes and reassure myself that she's actually here and safe before I have to hand her off @misserinc

Concern ! Damn iPhone @misserinc

I'm a ftm and I'm fairly small , not sure if that plays into how long I'm going to labor for

Yeah I understand I think it's good to make a plan with your doctors and nurses that you want time to nurse and bond and then will take a visitor at a time.

Yeah I'm going to take the grandmas to lunch one day and come up with a plan because other wise it's going to be crazy ! And that's just going to stress me out @misserinc

I agree with @brantleymicheal

i know my situation was different...my mil was an L&D nurse gor a long time...she always had great 'advice' but i didnt want her nurse advice just my mil...if that makes since...i told her that if she was present during part of the labor was fine, but not the delivery...my body my choice but if she started 'nursing' me she would be asked to leave...i didnt want the stress...she was ok with my request im sure she was hurt but didnt show it...i think if you are honest with her when you do talk to her she will respect your decision...the only reason my own mom was allowed in was because she had seen me naked before. ..i was not comfy with my mil seeing me that way...

@pooh2197, my mil has been to doctors appointments with me before and I'm sure if she's in the delivery room she will stay where she can't see anything crazy but I am going to talk to her and explain everything to her

i know if my husband couldnt be there i wouldnt think my mil could be strong for me...she would be overcome with her own emotional attachment...that your mom doesnt have the same emotional attachment she can be strong for you and step back to give you your alone time. ..ill be praying for you. ..when the time for baby to come that you all have peace. ..

I mean my mom is very attached to Madison she's over the moon about being a grandma but when it comes down to it she can put her emotions to the side and be the support I need , she's been doing it for the past 3 months but I've still got time to figure it all out and get everything settled @pooh2197

im glad you have support like that...

Me too ,I'm incredibly grateful , I was so scared my mom was going to be mad and not let me come home but she has been amazingly supportive in all honesty my whole family has @pooh2197