Why do I always have to be "Alauras care person" I want to be her mom! Why am I the one always on…

Why do I always have to be "Alauras care person" I want to be her mom! Why am I the one always on the phone with one of her specialists or her pediatrician or insurance or the pharmacy or therapy or her case worker? the one coming to the rescue when she pukes or has a sezuire? the one up all night to run when she stops breathing again, why doesn't anyone ever help me? everyone else gets all the fun time.. the play time.. why can't I get that? some days I do, I feel like her nurse and it's not fair... Shawn keeps telling me I'm depressed.. I'm tired! I haven't slept more than 3 to 4 hours in almost 6 MONTHS! it's funny. I drug her to yet another appointment today to have her head checked, it was a good appointment! I come home and all or a sudden I'm the bad guy because she's going to be labeled as the retarded kid. SERIOUSLY, WTF. what's even more funny is not one doctor has used that word. just family. I NEED A BREAK, just 15 minutes to breath and cry. why is that so much to ask?.. I just want to be mommy for a day😭 sorry for the rant...